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Monthly Archives: October 2013

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Here is yet another hand study, in tandem with a novelty acrostic for entertainment purposes only. Many of us “draw-ers” started out by drawing Hands; the only more fascinating anatomical subject matter for the beginning artist is Eyes. I’d estimate I’ve done at least a thousand Hand exercises in the last fifty years; and this time I did it to warm up for a far more important project, one that has taken several days and may yet take several more. Meanwhile, there’s this, and these words:

Hellacious flying out to…Montenegro
And balking Balkans ain’t enslaving…Slav
Nor is the color range from Taupe to…mauve
Didactic Dr Frankenstein with…Igor

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In a mere fifty years the ability to find a kindred spirit elsewhere in the world and previously unacquainted has gone from message-in-a-bottle to instantaneous hereiamthereyouarehallelujah. One example among myriads is the map above, which reveals where and how many people who have visited the One With Clay, Image and Text blog since its inception last December 3rd. This phenomenon may be the single most important factor in the future history of human relations. We are getting to know, and be less strange to, each other.

 

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Yesterday I got a call from Suzen of the Village Gallery, where I have ceramics on display and for sale. Someone from New Jersey wanted to buy one of my vases, and wanted it shipped to New Jersey. The vase had a $15.00 price tag. What, Suzen asked, did I want to charge for shipping?

This was a first for me at this gallery, and one of only two times in my years of stuffmaking that the issue of shipping had come up. “It’ll be another $15.00,” I said in three seconds or so, feeling a) like I’d just lost a sale; b) trepidant that the customer would go for it, and the shipping would be more; c) super-stoked that someone wanted it enough to pay more to have it shipped. Suzen said she’d call me back, and in just a couple of minutes, she did: Sold!

So my mission is to get this puppy safely to Medford, New Jersey, and contain shipping and handling costs. Even if it’s more than $15 to ship, I will feel victorious, and grateful to New Jersey, not only for Bruce Springsteen and Kevin Smith, but for the fellow in Medford who made my day.

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Choose your weapons with subtlety: live the life you were meant to live, seek the love you were meant to have, befriend with generosity and heartiness. Your weapons will then choose you.

Here are the words:

Of weaponry medicinal as legal marijuana
Remember barrels gun & pen stick out like Yucatán
Deliver us from pistol-packers radical & chic
Newer warfare-wagers use a Kindness-based technique

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This challenge came from the realization that the letters in the name Benito Mussolini divided evenly into three-character strings, and if a dot were added to the last one they would all be labelable, and it might be a worthwhile challenge to make the whole mess make sense and work.

(The dot isn’t really needed; an earlier “concept rough” included an illustration of the Isaac Newton Institute, in Cambridge. But .INI enabled the use of a dot as a period,  and therefore preservation of the rhyme scheme. In similar problem-solving fashion I’d previously exploited the diaeresis over the i in Anaïs Nin’s name to become two-thirds of an ellipsis in the acrostic.)

Long story a little longer: together again for the first time, we have Ben the rat from the movie bearing his name (and a young and relatively unwarped Michael Jackson singing the last line of the song, with Ben’s tail doing double-duty as the pointer of a word balloon; I’m absurdly proud of this visual pun); Lance Ito, the judge in the O.J. Simpson case; Mus musculus, the common mouse (the word Muscle is from this Latin word for Mouse); Sol Weinstein, comedy writer extraordinaire; and a closeup of an .INI (pronounced “innie” or “eeny”) file. .INI files, also and less confusingly known as initialization files, are bits of software that execute upon startup of the computer. Comment lines, which are ignored by the executable, begin with a semicolon.

Does it all make sense? To me it does, but then again, FINNEGANS WAKE made perfect sense to James Joyce, the rest of us not so much. I will say that this page is a tribute to the survival-triumph of the Jews past the Holocaust, among other things. The mouse and rat refer to Art Spiegelman’s Pulitzer-Prize-winning graphic novel MAUS, and derogatory drawings of Jews in Nazi Germany, respectively. Sol Weinstein, may he rest in peace, created Israel Bond, “Agent Oy Oy Seven,” among MANY, MANY other light-hearted, brilliant bits of schtick. I was saddened to learn of his passing when I looked for a photo source to do his portrait. And Lance Ito presided over a miscarriage of justice that still staggers me. (Don’t take my word for it. Read Vincent Bugliosi’s book on the subject, or ask Marilyn vos Savant, who’s listed in Guinness as “world’s highest IQ” and who’s called O.J. Simpson an “acquitted killer.”)

Here are the words to the quintuple acrostic:

Believe it or not, mice & rats can be fun. I
Enjoy how their startups are comically run
No rushes to judgment, no riots, no lie, just bagels & lox & a boxed Warr Shu Gai

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The page begins with the Quadratic Formula, which, in my younger and more phony-baloney days, I tried to impress my then-girlfriend, next-wife, the former Joni Froehling, by deriving, via the “completing the square” trick and other manipulation. She is no longer married to me, and who can blame her?

A masterful Valley of the Sun poet, Jed Allen, gave me a copy of his awe-inspiring chapbook THE FEAR OF ALGEBRA in appreciation of my reading of his poem “Zero Yard” at the Caffeine Corridor poetry event more than a year ago. Ever since, I have wanted to return the favor, and with this page I hope I have.

The words to the acrostic:

Attitude adjustments sometimes end up on a slab
Lose a Johnny Weismuller–or was it Buster Crabbe
Gain a Tarzan wannabe–a grey-stoked stufféd shirt
Err if you must on Caution’s side: man’s slaughter, shy of Murder
But in the diagram above as x is offed by a
Really not the culprit, who will always get away
Alias: The Solver, of manipulative manna
& a wealth of victims whose mystique is drowned in channel

The theme and meaning of the poem and its related ancillary material are left as an exercise for the student. Ironic hint: spelling out a solution murders Mystery. [enigmatic smile; fade to black]

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Today was the day of the Orthopedic Consult. In true 21st-century fashion, the patient was weighed, vital-signed and questioned by a personable, computer-entry-savvy assistant, then left to stare at walls for a while. At not-bad length there was hearable conversation outside the door of the assistant bringing the orthopedist up to speed. Swish of chart folder, quick tok=tok knock, and in comes the personable, orthopedics-savvy Orthopedist, M.D., Ph.D. A few more questions for the patient. The good news that the X-Rays look good, with circumstantial evidence indicating no rotator cuff tearing, The dismaying news is that there is age-related stiffness, bursitis, and degeneration typical of a patient the patient’s age.

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Two long-needled shots of cortisone will loosen the shoulder in a couple of days. “It may be a little worse at first.” But the very good news is there doesn’t seem to be any need for an MRI, nor surgery, nor physical therapy. “Just use it a lot.” An appointment is made for four weeks hence, and the orthopedist suggests it be cancelled if the shoulder feels good. The patient admires and appreciates this cost-containment attitude.

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On the way out the patient is given a PIN for his Patient Portal online access–another 21st-century step in the right direction. Information such as this is available with a few mouse clicks:

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(The patient made an image of the document, opened it in Paint, and used a nifty desizing-resizing trick to efface some identifying information.)

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Best of all, the X-ray shoulder views are available, and simple photo-editing software–Paint and Microsoft Office Picture Manager–may be used on the images. Andy Warhol did stuff like this the hard way, back in the day. Longer ago, Robert Rauschenberg had to content himself with light-reactive paper and bright, bright light for some white-on-blue skinscapes of him and his companion. But now–colorizing, brightness&contrast, data compression and many other image-manipulative techniques are easy as pie, funfunfun, and available with the latest operating systems!

So here are four shoulderscapes. If time were not of the essence I would have happily spent another several hours playing with the image; alas, time is scarce. These four, though, demonstrate how color, contrast and cropping of the same subject matter might yield four quite different visual payoffs.

“Shoulder and shoulder and bolder and bolder we grow as we go to the fore.” Give me some Peeps who are Stout-Hearted Peeps! [smiles. fade to white]