b. longstreet vs. the evil whisper (Flash Fiction)

A few weeks ago my friend Robbie created a flash fiction group in Facebook and invited me to join it. I did, but have made only one contribution so far. This will be my second. It may help to know that Sydney Greenstreet was the actor in THE MALTESE FALCON that Sam Spade, Humphrey Bogart’s character, referred to as “Fat Man,” and that John F. Long was a builder of affordable homes in the Valley of the Sun, and was at least partially responsible for the Valley’s explosive growth.

b. longstreet vs. the evil whisper

once upon never b. for bee longstreet, the hermaphroditic child of sidney greenstreet and john f. long via whimsical genetic misadventure, found his&herself on cave creek road, on that long long stretch with the commodious sidewalk.

the evil whisper “you can do nothing” bounced around in that gender-blended head. “that’s not true,” b. kept answering it. “i can walk, i can walk, i can walk. and i shall ouija walk.” (b. called walks where b. allowed herhis feet to go where they will “ouija walks” because it was as if b. were the pointer of a ouija board seeking through the subether vorticular places/events.)

82 minutes of ouijawalking led b. to a storefront window of a pet grooming parlor, behind which was a laundry-lint-gray kitten with an expression of perpetual mild confusion. “that is a nice-looking thing,” said the evil whisper. “but you can do nothing.”

“that’s not true,” b. replied. “i note the address. i shall pet the kitten to-morrow.” b. then bade herforthemoment’s feet continue. in another nine minutes b. stood before a burning automobile, with no one inside and no one around.

“life is random, and so are you,” rasped the evil whisper. “NOT SO,” replied himthen immediately. “i may be misbegotten, but i was deliberately made. and as a creature brought to be, i have the power of…” b. was stuck. this is what its whole life had led to. the right word of power would work; the wrong one would betoken doom and failure.

as in a ouija message, the correct word burst forth with spontaneous combustion:

“DELIBERATION!!!”

and with that perfect word, the evil whisper vanished, never to be heard again, and B. Longstreet, Representative At Large for Humanity, was freed.