Shapes Scrape
Spheres may lead to Hell or bliss
Heaven may be found on disc
Axis near and vertex far
Places us around a star. A
Euphemystic bar of soap
Sudstains us well and helps us hope
Shapes Scrape
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Monthly Archives: September 2019
CATastrophic CAT acrostics #2
catastrophic cat acrostics 2
concentric
abracadabra
testament
anhedonia
sensationalistic
terminator
rococo
onerousness
puissant
hypothalami
individualistic
canvass
instead he drank whatter
About fifty years ago I read Cool Hand Luke by Donn Pearce. I was a teenager in Glendale, Arizona. I may have been trying out for the track team at the time. (Alas, I had no talent, but they let me “compete” anyway.) A phrase from that fine, gut-slamming book stuck in my head from that time to this, and I invoke it every time I try to turn over a new leaf and be healthy.
Luke had made a bet that he could eat fifty eggs. Sometime between the time he made that bet and he (spoiler alert) won the bet, he drank water when everyone thought he was going to do something else, specifically vomit. “Instead he drank water…” So when I’m tempted to eat a bag of cookies or a Philly Cheesesteak, I stave off temptation by being, briefly, Cool Hand Luke himself, and have some water instead.
The acrosticist’s problem, though, is that “instead” has seven letters, as does “hedrank”, but “water” has only five. So to fulfill an outlandish acrostic requirement my drinker is drinking “whatter.” I was forced to conceive a backstory about a sports drink called “Whatter You Waiting For?” rich in electrolytes and laced with a psychotropic substance that enables focus and intensity.
instead he drank whatter
it pays to hydrate–ask athletic people in the know
needs include an anaesthetic dream of sandra oh
suck down that nutriented drink that you may be grade a
then find a righteous probiotic product like yoplait
ecclesiastes says to eat and drink as if au fait
and merriment is on the menu lest the tempers flare
delicious drink and kitchen sink make such a lovely pair
Apologies to Yoplait and to Sandra Oh. I am a big fan of both but consulted neither. Yoplait helped restore my digestic tract’s “good bacteria” after I was bombed with antibiotics. Sandra Oh was a huge reason I got such a kick out of the movie Sideways. Also she had a minor but unforgettable role in the pornstar-funeral episode of Six Feet Under. She is gifted indeed. –So my hope is that both parties consider my reference to them respectful and admiring. (Realistically, though, this post will overwhelmingly likely be unnoticed by both.)
CATastrophic CAT acrostics #1
This was hard enough to do in itself, but there is more rough road to bump over, because this is just one acrostic, yet the acrostic is “Catastrophic Cat Acrostics”–plural. So at least one more is forthcoming.
The other issue is “Catastrophic.” Where is the catastrophe? Well, the default will be that Cats have a reputation for living on the edge They are rumored to require nine lives because of their endangering curiosity. In this version of the poem, the third line reads “Tomcats who leap off a roof so often land intact.” But in an early draft the line read “Toss Tomcats off a roof and they so often land intact.” Catastrophic scenario, but what a horrible thing to do!
CATastrophic CAT acrostics #1
Collectors know that Kitties go beyond mere bric-a-brac • And soothsayers regard the Black-Furred key to the Arcana • Tomcats who leap off a roof so often land intact • And Prowling after Plummeting becomes a tom’s Nirvana • Successful integration of a cat in story’s arc • Takes understanding of the Cat as Empress/Angel/Boor • Rejuvenator/Savior yet a l o o f when you embark–O • Oui is Yes & Non is No & Always is Toujours • Peut-être is Perhaps and fot Eat Well Bon Appetît • Here almost endeth our leçon for Boredom is Ennui • It suits a Cat as does most French for there Cats are très chic • Comprenez-vous Lautrec, Toulouse un chat avec précis
Another three arguments for the Catastrophe of this acrostic is the degenerative use of the French language, the clumsy sometimes-iambic-sometimes-trochaic septameter, and the stifling crowdedness of the text. As to the first, French is useful when an endword must end on a certain letter AND rhyme.
The good news is the next one can’t help but be better.
omegaku
omegaku
“no comment” he snapped
but he was wrong for his hand
had plenty to say
neat heat feat. heat neat
Modern music of the Hip-Hop variety will often see one artist enhancing another, as for instance “Eminem feat. Rihanna.” “Feat.” is of course short for Featuring. Since this page is one acrostic enhanced by another, and all the acrostic words rhyme with “feat.”, it was irresistible to use “feat.” in my title. There’s also the tendency in poetry events to “feature” one or more poets, with or without “open mic,” which is of course short for “open microphone,” though often there isn’t a microphone.
The stereotype of Canadian speech is to end a sentence with “eh.” Comic book legend John Byrne, himself a Canadian, once quoted another Canadian who scorned that stereotype, but he said, “We don’t talk that way, eh.” Canadians also have a perhaps deserved reputation for being quite nice and quite polite.
There is a Canadian whiskey called Fireball, laced with cinnamon and like the alcoholic version of Red Hots, a hard candy popular when I was growing up. So a subfeature of this page might be called “heat neat feat. Fireball.” When a drink is ordered “neat” it means don’t add ice nor water nor a mixer to it.
“Cafe au lait” is French for “coffee enhanced with milk.” On the page I made circumflexes and accent marks, but writing in English we often do without. “Santa Fe” is sometimes written with an accent mark over the e–Aldous Huxley did so in Brave New World–but overwhelmingly its written form dispenses with the accent mark. It would have stuck out like a sore thumb on the acrostic.
The Seine is a river running through Paris, France. Once upon a time “the Left Bank” referred to creative types, because they tended to congregate on the left bank of the Seine.
A lot of people from France ended up in Canada. There is a ghost of a chance that “eh” is a direct descendant of “n’est-ce pas?”–French for “Is this not so?”
.
neat heat
nylon in Toronto, eh
eagle feathered Santa Fe
ash on 56th and Shea
time for some cafe au lait
heat neat
h i j k l m n
eventide upon the Seine
a b c d c b a
taken with cafe au lait
Catlover and Phone Battery
Last week I struggled to charge up my phone. The plugin, an Android for my Samsung J3 Galaxy Prime, is loose and I have to wiggle it around to achieve the telltale lightning bolt.
My friend Sandra Snow, cat-lover beyond compare, sent me a phone battery, hoping it would help. Through no fault of her own, it didn’t. For her valiant effort I wanted to reward her with an original drawing of mine, so I started two car-related images, thus:
She chose the big close-up kitty over the several-catted acrostic. An hour later I showed her this:
Barring last-minute changes, this will be on its way to Sandra on Tuesday, since tomorrow is a holiday.
Again: thank you, Sandra!
One with Clay, Image and Text 