Long ago, in a century adjacent to our own, I put food on the table of my tiny family by creating, enhancing, and updating Excel spreadsheets for a hospital system known then as Samaritan Health Services. They paid me about three times what I am making now, and in more-potent 20th-century dollars. Nevertheless, I sleep better at night now than I did then. Part of that insomnia was due to Imposter Syndrome, part was Breadwinner’s Burden, and part was the inability to forget about the job in my off-hours. But now I think of that time as vital and productive, and I’m grateful for the insight it gave me into the labyrinthine workings of the financial side of “healthcare.” I did this page with a generous dose of nostalgia.

Spread Sheets

Suspend a disbelief the Moo-cow moos • Present a spirit willing in the flesh • Repeal the laws that make us always lose • Encapsulate a Babe & build a creche • And THEN you’ll pass this arbitrary test • Designed to turn your whole notes into rests