Let’s Face It

Here’s a tale of Whoa. (Thanks for reading my latest Bad Pun.) On October 12 of this year I went to some lengths to upgrade my driver’s license to a State ID, which will sometime in 2023 be required for anyone who wants to travel. I brought with me the right kind of the copy of my birth certificate (has a seal from Vital Records), establishing that I was indeed born in the United States of America, and a lease agreement, establishing that I did indeed live where I said I lived. The lady at the booth scanned my documents, I signed a scanner for the signature line, they gave me an eye test and took my picture, and they told me I’d get my card “in about a week.”

A month and a half went by. No card.

Today I called the Motor Vehicle Department and asked the lady who answered if it was unusual for cards to take this long. She said it was, but since she was Level I, General Information, she’d need to transfer me to Level II. A few minutes later another nice lady checked my driver’s license number and said Aha, your photo was not acceptable to the Face Recognition software, we can’t see both of your earlobes, you’ll have to come in and take another pic. “Whoa,” said I. “But OK.”

So today I rented a car, because public transportation would have taken hours, and I had till 4:45pm, and what the heck, I like driving every so often. I arrived timely, took a number, and was directed to Booth 19. The nice lady at Booth 19 took my license and the temp ID and printed out my info for me to review and sign. “Hey,” said I, “My apartment number’s missing.” “Aha,” she answered, “that must be the real reason we put a hold on your card.” “Did you send me an e-mail?” Headshake. “Call me?” “No, we don’t do that in such cases,” says she. “We tell you before you leave when you can expect the card, and expect you to call if you don’t get it when we say.” Grrrr.

But there’s an upside. The first pic made me look like a serial killer. This one makes me look like innocent, harmless Grandpa. Heh heh. If they only knew. 🙂