straws and doughnuts

topologically speaking/straws and doughnuts are identical

you may think a straw has two holes/and a doughnut one/but fuse a stack of doughnuts/and you have an impractical straw

and shorten a straw and thicken its wall/and you see more easily/that the two holes are really one

another commonality of straws and doughnuts/is that they may both convey unneeded sweetness

also, they both have a history/with predecessors much different/from today’s versions

for instance the sumerians of thousands of years ago gathered around vats of fermented beerlike stuff/and used super-long straws to communally drink/the vats being too heavy to move

and the early doughnuts/came to new amsterdam from dutch immigrants/in the form of olykoeken (“oil cakes”)/which lacked holes/and were often nut-filled

and folk rumor credits a sailor/one captain gregory hansen/with putting a hole in them/to facilitate even frying

both straws and doughnuts have been metaphorized/curiously though it is the natural hay-derived straw/that is the last straw or the short straw/or the straw that broke the camel’s back/or the straw in the wind

curiously as well it is the hole in the doughnut/and not the doughnut itself/that is metaphorized/when for instance discussing medical expenses/not covered by medicare

but the most colorful instance of rude dismissal/(effword alert)/is a metaphor of the doughnut itself/and in the public domain for years/before Kurt Vonnegut used it/in one of his novels:

“why don’t you take a flying fuck/at a rolling doughnut?”

fun fact: i am in the lobby/of my apartment complex/where property management has placed free doughnuts/and coffee/and i just finished a third doughnut/in full sight of the guy in the office/who last late july/stuck me with a $9.99 transaction fee/when i paid online/after he wouldn’t take my personal check

and so i determined to eat and drink/$9.99 worth of doughnuts and coffee

because that transaction fee/was the straw that broke the gary’s back

and if he doesn’t like it/i think i hear/the subtle rustle of a rolling doughnut/heading his way