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Monthly Archives: September 2024

Lately I make a living as a prep cook for SSP America, a restaurant-management firm. Since May of 2023 I have cut onions, portioned sauces and refried beans and turkey slices and many other foodstuffs, used a paddle to mix 200 pounds’ worth of diced potatoes and oil and salt/pepper mix, assembled spring rolls and enchiladas and burritos and yogurt parfaits, fished chicken wings out of congealed grease, and performed many other production tasks. But since late last year, my main job has been to use a hand slicer to subdivide tomatoes, discard the slices unfit to eat, arrange the edited tomatoes into aluminum steam pans, and seal them for delivery with 24″ plastic film, with a label that includes creation date and use-by date.

Over the months I have gotten better at the subtasks of tomato slicing. Chef Adam Rosewicz himself once complimented me on how “pretty” my finished trays were. And my boss Don Williams has called me “Tomatoman.” I take pride in my workmanship and my dependability. The all-day-long repetition suits my temperament as a former marathoner and semipro potter for whom a three-hour session almost always ends too soon.

And as someone who has worked earnestly on all forms of poetry for more than 17 years, a job that involves mostly muscle memory is a Godsend. My mind is free to play with ideas for poems, with unique phrasing, with the little nagging business of a poem that had been written and posted but wasn’t quite right. The hours pass quickly when I have a good tomato-slicing rhythm going and I keep getting good word-notions. Realizing that Lenticular and Perpendicular rhyme can make my day.

The answer to the question “Tomato-slicing poet, or poetic tomato slicer?” is, of course, both. I am proud to turn the work of my hands into a good income. I am only slightly prouder of being a poet who keeps pushing at, and changing, his limitations.

The heat is a zapper/An energy tapper/And when you’re tapped out little gecko

Your consciousness skids/As you nictitate lids/And blur out the bright and its echo

But a danger will rouse you/A scent will undrowse you/And you’ll make your suckerfeet scamper

And a crevice or crack/Has your pebblestrewn back/And you’re once again one happy camper

sink a sword till all you see is hilt/that is what is known as running through/but violence begets guilt/or not/rejection is to jilt/eh wot/abandonment of meter for instance/may bring a grammarian’s remonstrance/ but rules are made to be set atilt/and mine some newness from the silt

if a plant lacks wahwah it will wilt/but a filter is never one who filts

awkward language and a leg lengthener both stilt/just as the shaky premise on which/this mess of words is built

don’t get me started on kilt or milt/but sew some squares and you’ll have a quilt

instance and remonstrance/are a monstrous slantlack rhyme/but a scant Kant canticle or rant/will get you everthyme

after you stop reading/and unspool this non-sense feeding/if you search on “inns near me”/there undoubtedly will be/a nearby Conrad comrade to which you may with lusty snort resort/and live maximally and guestedly/by getting your hilt on

and on on that note i’ll bid adieu/please sheathe your sword don’t run me through

when the diabetic/the unmedicated diabetic/sugars himself with a couple of donuts/rogue proteins are formed and they attack his eyes/fog his brain/and trash his body’s repair shop

if the manufacturer/chooses a savings of pennies per unit/over proper industrial hygiene/fish and fowl die/and locals get sick

if an airplane opens its belly doors/and drops powder-loaded tubes onto the landscape/people become widows widowers orphans and enemies

the toxicity of our spinning home has gone up and up/and management of detox is not by reasoned plan but by crisis

but you need not feel like a powerless victim my friend

nor need i sanctimoniously preach any further

if you do just a little detox today/of body mind and spirit

and remember/the less we tox/the less we need detox

When I was eleven years old/A sixth-grade student at a middle school called Unit VI/My homeroom teacher was Mrs. Virginia Holmberg

She was strict and forbidding/But an early pioneer of behavior modification/Incentivizing as she did/A perfect week of spelling scores/with the reward of a candy bar

And she read us an exciting Horatio Alger story once with each chapter ending in a bad-luck cliffhanger

But she also heaped out scorn in quantity/Shaming a kid who’d written his name on his desk top with//”Fools’ names and Fools’ faces/Are often seen in public places.”

So one fateful day she was talking about how breathtaking the sight of Halley’s Comet was…

And I, the runny-nosed know-it-all, the smallest kid in the class, saw a delightful opportunity…

And my hand shot up and Mrs. Holmberg nodded and me and said, “Yes?”…

And I said, “Mrs. Holmberg, wasn’t the last time Halley’s Comet came close to Earth…in 1910??”

Many class members gasped/In astonishment/at the revelation of how OLD Mrs. Holmberg must be/And I could swear she blushed/But then a little self-deprecating smile came to her face/And she said, “Why, yes. But I was only a little girl then.”

And that moment revealed Mrs. Holmberg to me

As a little girl still.

what may be an accusation of falsehood or false motive/is the response to a claim or conjecture/”that’s as may be”/with its flavor of skepticism and scorn

physicists are now telling us that observation has the effect of collapsing probabilities/even unto snuffing out entire universes/of “as may be”

so it behooves us to be watchful

and thankful that we ourselves are observed

as i thank you now for helping me exist

now you plummet/from a summit/on an early day in Fall

tempty-dooming/as you’re zooming/by a narrow canyon’s wall

out the cavity/as gravity/tries so hard to make you splat

ripcord failure/as you wail you’re/too 3D to end up fl

the dust of a moth’s or butterfly’s wing/when you look closely/is from overlapping scales/a sheddable part of the wing integument/that slightly improves wing aerodynamics

this is why moths and butterflies/are grouped under the order lepidoptera/which is greek for ‘scalewing’

now let’s jump-cut to the 1840s and the murky origin of the word ‘scalawag’

it may have been invented by some farmer in the american south/who needed a word for one of his unproductive animals

but in little time it was used to describe/disreputable men worthy of scorn

and over time took on a flavor of mischief/probably because the last syllable ‘wag’/means not only the motion of a dog’s tale/but a jokester

thus it is with language as it takes the flight of years buffeted by whim and chance

and the meanings of words flutter around/like a butterfly/with one dustless wing

“They’re eating the dogs…they’re eating the cats…they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.” Donald Trump, of Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio

it is said that there is more than one way to skin a cat/but if you are hungry and possessed of a box cutter/you will probably opt for the reverse ziplock method

or you would if you did but you don’t so you won’t/since you don’t eat cats nor dogs/but instead have been lied about/by the man who called your former country/a “shithole nation”

but you can have fun if you have culinary skills/you can whip up whipping cream and sugar and pomegranate and put it in a pastry tube/and sculpt little kittens and call them “the cat’s me-yow”

or add a bit of venison to your ground beef and onion with ketchup glaze and serve up some steaming “mutt loaf”

but whatever you do, vote legally and blue

voting red is just too…carnivorous

My dentist is two long bus rides away/And yet I’ll never seek someone who’s nearer/His crew is really good, with sense of play/And camaraderie like fun house mirror.

When AI rears its pretty head and asks/If it may kindly finish the next sentence/I turn it down and home-grow my own tasks/And wish AI would back off in repentance.

I walk to get my groceries, fetch water/With jugs recycled, using a dispenser/At fifty cents a gallon, though it’s hotter/To carry than to drive. I am a fencer

Who swordplays with Convenience. As long

As I continue this, I will be Strong.