The Umpire’s New Clothes

Roy McRae was in a fix/Since Roy McRae was in a crash/And his Fiat Spider was burnt to a crisp/Along with his Umpire’s uniform.

His street clothes smoked his time too short/He ducked in a nearby menswear store/And behold a tuxedo fit well. With a snort/He snagged a cab. It began to storm.

He prayed that rain would postpone the game/Alas though the stadium was a dome/And he got there spiffy but wet of hame/And despaired that he didn’t have time to change.

The fans went crazy to see the fella/Unregulatory below the neck/But he said “Play Ball!” though no Cinderella/Felt more out of place, but hey, what the heck.

He called the pitches with delicacy/The batters baffled his voice so soft/The pitchers howling with unfettered glee/The fans as well. And then far aloft

A too-slow pitch was sent to the stands/And near the foul pole it did go/But Roy scratched his cap and threw up his hands/And cried, “Fair or foul? I just don’t know.“

And history, Friends, that day was made/And things will never be quite the same/For Roy McRae made the record book grade/As the first Ump ejected from the game.

.

And the moral of the story is

Clothes make the person

So watch what you wear

Because things may worsen

If you’re too debonair.