who you might be

the social security administration/never sent me my 1099/and tax time looms/so i went online

i went online and clicked on Getcha 1099 Right Here, Kid

and suddenly was called upon/not merely to log in/but to prove incontrovertibly that i was who i said i was

which involved not merely to supply my social security number

but to take photos of my state-issued,

gold-star-on-the-front,

driver’s-license-on-steroids

identification card

and was that sufficient? nope!

ssa then commandeered my phone

(after they graciously got my permission)

and had me removed my glasses

and pose for a “video selfie”

which took three tries

and then compared it with my i.d. pic

and lo and behold and huzzah

i am indeed who i said i was

and from then the obtainment/of my 1099 both download and to-be-mailed hard copy/was a snap

but wait there’s more

a breakdown of all my social-security-taxed income was available/from the summer of 1970 on

which was fascinating

details on request

maybe

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