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Election Days 2020

November 4, 2020
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20201104 election days

I live in Phoenix, Arizona. I am a member of the Democratic Party. I think the Second Amendment was written long ago, when citizens could make a real difference in preventing hostile overthrow with the weaponry available at the time, and that time has passed; but I am not anti-gun–I am against guns getting into the wrong hands.

For all of those reasons, there is cause for me to celebrate today. It is all but certain that Arizona has “flipped” from a Republican (“Red”) state to a Democratic (“Blue”) state. In the Senate race, victory has been declared by Mark Kelly, whose wife, former Congresswoman Gabrielle “Gabby” Giffords, was shot in the head some years ago. (It is miraculous that she is alive, and inspiring to see what she has done since she was shot.) I not only voted for Kelly, I contributed a modest amount ($35 US) to his campaign. He will certainly be an advocate for keeping guns out of the wrong hands.

In the Presidential election, it is too close to call right now, but if both Nevada and Arizona go Blue for Biden, and the despicable Donald Trump’s attempt to steal this election is in vain, then the Trump gang will be ousted from the White House. (Trump “vows” to take an election challenge to the Supreme court if need be. Meanwhile his hand-picked Postmaster has a lot of explaining to do for the hundreds of thousands of ballots that never made it to their destinations.)

On the down side, the “Blue Tsunami” we Democrats hoped for did not materialize. The hope that we would gain control of the Senate looks forlorn at this point. And what makes many of us shake our heads is that Mitch McConnell, whose corrupt influence was directly responsible for a sham of an Impeachment trial AND the rushthrough of newly confirmed Supreme Court Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett, has been undeniably re-elected to the Senate.

Nothing is 100% certain in this election, Friends. But no matter the outcome, each American citizen has a responsibility to be ethical, decent, and honest. Our country needs to heal from its disunity.

BPBTC, First of November

November 1, 2020
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Friends, I had another Bad Pun Brain Teaser contest on Facebook.. I will not reveal the answer here, but it is on my Facebook timeline. What I will do is pose the question and then reveal the prize I’ve made for the winner.

Ed was on a special blind date, with special instructions. He had a young, talking rubber tree in a pot that was easy to carry. As he walked toward his Blind Date rendezvous the tree kept saying to passers-by “Nice hat, Sweetheart” or “Have a wonderful day in that great-looking suit, fella” or “Heaven just called. They want you back, Angel.”

Ed’s date was easy to spot. She was at a table at the Alfresco Bistro and the lovely bonsai she had brought had just told the server, “You look dapper indeed, Sir.”

“Marcia?”

The young lady stood and said, “Hello, Edward. Very nice to meet you.” She gestured to the tree. “This is for you.”

Her bonsai said, “Yippee! I know I’m going to like you, Ed. And you can call ME Ed if you want. Two Eds are better than one!”

Ed smiled and said, “Thanks, Other Ed, I will.” He then placed the rubber tree next to Marcia’s chair. “I hope you like him, Marcia.”

In a smooth, Morgan-Freeman-reassuring voice the rubber tree said, “I can tell we’ll get along famously, my dear Marcia.” And Marcia smiled.

Friends, this scene may seem bizarre, but with the help of a Bad Pun it becomes something that happens all the time on blind dates. What were Ed and Marcia doing?

First correct answer will get an original drawing of the blind date scene, including the talking plants.

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Congrats again to Scott, and here’s a heads-up, Friends: I intend before the end of the month to conduct a Bad Pun Brain Teaser Contest on this blog! 🙂

Inktober 30th, 2020: Ominous

October 30, 2020
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When I was growing up there was a kid who had a Rabbit’s Foot in his pocket for good luck. Horseshoes were put over doorways, but in the U shape, to contain the luck, and not in the upside down Omega shape, which would make all the good luck run out. Seven was considered a lucky number.

And thirteen was considered unlucky. Walking under ladders, spilling salt, breaking a mirror, having a black cat cross your path. And if you stepped on a crack you could break your mother’s back.

Of course, different cultures have different notions. My college sweetheart, of Japanese ancestry, was horrified when I ladled something from the stove onto a plate, and tipped it away from me. “DON’T DO THAT,” she said. “When you do that, you’re pointing at a dead person.” She also told me that for every tsubu (grain) of go-han (rice) I left in my bowl, a child would be starving.

I have my personal superstitions, and I imagine everyone else does too. I have two that relate to oral hygiene. The first one is that I must never run out of dental floss. If I don’t have another dispenser of floss waiting in the wings when the last bit of floss comes out of the dispenser I’m using, it means I will endure poverty in the immediate future. And the second one is that whenever I intend to floss or brush my teeth, or (usually) both, I MUST look in the mirror and say, “Be careful.” If I don’t, something terrible will happen when I tend to my teeth.

It’s silly, but it’s real. We are comforted when we do some of these things, and we are discomfited when certain other things occur. Nor should we stop just because we are being irrational. If it does no harm, it does some good.

When I learned that today’s prompt was “ominous,” the first thing I thought of was the connection to the word Omen. And when I did, a little drama with a “Lady or the Tiger” ending unfolded. And good noticers will see one reason why going for the money might bring Bad Luck.

2020 1030 inktober ominous

Inktober 27th, 2020: Music

October 27, 2020
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How does an Inkster draw Music without relying on easy props like musical instruments or famous musicians? The Inkster simply asks, “What does Music Look like?” and draws what he sees in his mind.

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This page is dedicated to my deceased friend Karen Wilkinson, who vigorously and unforgettably fiddled her way through songs like “Angel from Montgomery” and “Queen of the Roller Derby.” She made a different kind of music for the National Public Defender’s Office, writing policy and defending the downtrodden. She was called “A light in the darkness” by one Guantanamo inmate.

Inktober 26, 2020: Hide

October 26, 2020
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Hide nor hair. Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred. Hide in plain sight, or, if there’s such a city as Plainsight, you could hide there.

Happy Birthday to Amy Ouzoonian, a most talented and charismatic poet in the Valley of the Sun, where I now live. Amy got to see my image before anyone else did; making that happen was my modest birthday present to her.

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French speakers know that “Amy” and “St. Rémy” don’t really rhyme, but many Americans, including myself despite two solid years of French classes, mispronounce French words horribly. So please, let’s all pretend that the couplet

Raise a snifter of St. Rémy
To Her Excellency, Amy

rhymes perfectly. 🙂 and I hope you have fun finding hidden instances of Hide. Feel free to post your findings in the Comments.

Inktober 25th, 2020: Buddy

October 25, 2020
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Today’s Inktober prompt first got me thinking about the celebrities named Buddy that had won my admiration. There was Buddy Hackett, one of the funniest guys of all time. Buddy Rich, the incredible jazz drummer, and Buddy Holly, legendary rocknroller. Jack Nicholson was Buddy Rydell in Anger Management and Jerry Lewis was Buddy Love in The Nutty Professor.

But decent portraits of any or all of them would take hours. I wanted to do something quick, and something original. A lightbulb suddenly popped alit in a thought balloon over my head–the ULTIMATE Buddy would be…a conjoined twin! But what would the other twin be named–Muddy? Cruddy? Spuddy? No. Another lightbulb: SYSTEM! They would share a lower body, and they would walk using…the Buddy System!

And I could use this idea not only for Inktober, but for the Bad Pun Brain Teaser Contest I sometimes inflict on my Facebook readership! And before a lamb’s tail shook twice, I posted this in Facebook:

Friends, here’s yet another Bad Pun Brain Teaser Contest. This one is a toughie. If I hadn’t thought of it myself, I don’t think I would be able to solve it. But many of my readers are smarter than I am, so…

Imagine conjoined twin boys. They share the lower body all the way up to the iliac arches of their one pelvis. The one on the right as you’re looking at them has an unusual name: System. The one on the left has a much more ordinary name, that of a famous actor. What is his name?

Deadline is 3 PM today, Mountain Standard Time.

Winner gets a signed Laser print of one of my Inktober drawings.

Good luck, Solvers!

And in about an hour the contest was won by Brenda Anna of Maryland. She will be getting a signed print of today’s Inktober drawing, which is this:

2020 1025 inktober buddy

An Honorable Mention goes out to my former co-worker Nate Pleger, whose answer was “Joaquin,” after famous actor Joaquin Phoenix. Nate explained that they would need to get around using the “Joaquin System,” and that is a perfect example of a Bad Pun.

Another Honorable Mention goes out to the Funniest Man On Earth, Bill Campana, who just kept throwing out famous actors’ names, and goofed around with a weird blend of names (“rin tin dicaprio” for instance), and almost put me on the floor, crying from laughing. Bill came up with the correct actor, and answer, when he thought of Buddy Ebsen, but he was exactly one minute too late. And my classmate and friend Kristi Whitehurst Beckman also was correct but not in time.

Thanks to all participants!