A unique bathroom mishap occurred in a stall at my work
I was the victim and only witness
After I scrutinized the holder of the giant toilet rolls for paper plenitude
And as I was turning away
A spray dispenser above the holder sprayed me with bathroom spray
So now the side of my head smells like an alpine glade with a swiss chalet nearby
.
I didn’t rinse it off
Perhaps it will help me to gladingly glide through another day
As I suppress the faint urge
To yodel
not being able to breathe/through his nose/wakes him up.
he gets up/gets toilet paper from the bathroom/and tries to blow his nose.
the results are, in the other sense of the word, baffling: deviation of septum/and scar tissue/have made baffles/that make it difficult/to clear the way/for air intake and egress.
so he meanders to the fridge/and slugs down some chocolate milk/right out of the jug/and strawberry lemonade/right out of the carton. he hasn’t had a visitor for months/so what the hell.
then he pulls his phone from its charger/and solve nyt wordle/and words with friends moves/and goes to his blog/and writes this.
the airway has meanwhile mostly cleared/of its own accord.
the alarm will sound/in thirty-five minutes.
going back to bed.
a loved one made a suggestion: try some introspection.
q, meet a.
how are things? well, great and not-great. what shall we do about the not-great stuff? for the melancholy, find a way to cheer up. for the estrangement, maintain patience and gain wisdom. for the disarray, tackle a little bit of it, reward, tackle more, most of all don’t add to it. for the loneliness, get out more despite awkwardness and discomfort.
what needs to be done by the end of the year? finish work on commission. prepare all answers to “call for artwork” within feasibility range. work all hours offered unless health is compromised. prepare for surgery and out-of-state travel. walk, breathe, moderate eating.
what is the one vital thing that is most crucial? prioritization.
that’s all for now. come back on new year’s day ready to be debriefed.
cup, bird, bird, and mug await the fire,
a squadlet facing fate. alas, all will not survive. worse, it is the bird
with the eggs, the one on whom the highest hopes were pinned, that will suffer
decapitation.
irreparable.
.
the sculptor is philosophical. if i make another version of this one, it will be better.
then a sigh. it will not be as alive.
then a shrug. plenty of fish in the sea and on the plate. plenty of birds in the wind and in the clay.
there is a moment of silence. so long old pal.
****
Afterword: Grateful acknowledgment to Fannie Flagg, author of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café, for the last four words of the poem above.
there’s a notion nowadays that there is only one electron in all of the Universe
and that that one electron seems to be so many because it can move back and forth and sideways and skitterscotch through Time
and so the probability clouds of electron shells surrounding the nuclei of atoms intrinsically demand that Electron Dude coexist with a certain number of itself in order to impart the specific properties of the element to its tiny corner of existence
which sounds terrifyingly complicated and fragile but hey it works just fine and actually in one sense simplifies things
since with only one Electron Dude the property of that one electron is utterly reliable and invariant
and beats spit & baling wire six ways to&from Sunday as an attractive binding arbitration
and best of all it is poetic
and that children is why we call our home
the UniVERSE
Swarms of greedy human beings/Play the lottery and pray/They will have the magic numbers/And win millions, one fine day.
Meanwhile, would-be Thomas Edisons/Shove and shovel and acquire/Work their way up Forbes 500/Filthy Lucre their desire.
Meanwhile, some want life achievements/And some slice of recognition/From their dreaming peers of makers/Trophy, ribbon, First Edition.
Meanwhile, some have lovingkindness/And relief for those downtrodden/Is their focus and their passion/Their hands muddy but unsodden.
We ALL want to be successful/Doing Business, seeking Pleasure/Pick your Passions well, O Neighbors/And the way you take Wealth’s measure.
the man in the floor above/takes off a shoe/and lets it
.
an almost perfect steak/had a tiny hardness of gristle/and the last bite/wedged the gristle between bicuspid and molar/and tongue work didn’t get it out/nor the paper of the restaurant receipt, folded/nor american currency in the form of a dollar bill, folded/then unfolded it slipped between the teeth but then tore/and the wedge is worse/and the drugstore he is walking past has dental floss/but it is closed.
I’ve got a secret about a woman i secretly love. would you like to hear it?
Life was fleeting fun and fudgy/Then you die and things get judgy/Sins remembered fry your bacon/Taken shaken Godforsaken.
“There’s No Hope” is what the door meant/Here comes Santa bearing torment/Flame and tiny demons jabbing/In your ear Aunt Esther gabbing.
You’re repentant you’re remorseful/But the horse crap by the horseful/Buries you in flaming poo/Not a damned thing you can do.
Then the heavens part and smoke/Makes things disappear. “A joke!”/God Herself declaimed, and laughed. “You’ve been pranked! Spanked! Punk’d! Giraffed!
“Hell is but a vicious rumor/Scripture satire! Doom with humor!/Boogeyman in chaptered verses/Spicing Blessings up with Curses.”
Then God’s browline lightly knit./”As for heaven, He-She-It,/You may find it, you may not,/That depends on what you’ve got.
“Use your Viewpoint. Watch and learn./Use your Wisdom. Think; discern./Be an Angel, not a Creep. Dream without the need for sleep.”
God began to dim and fade./”Find yourselves and interbraid./Right some wrongs. Unbotch some botching./Love as if your friends are watching.”
God was gone. In space, adrift,/This new Angel-Ghost made shift/A satellite, then speeding dart/To Earth, to guard, to watch, to [heart].
four transparent goldenrod childproofed bottles await the sleeper
one contains a statin to lower cholesterol
one contains a beta blocker for lower bp
one contains a big chalky glucose-lowering bunch of pills
and the last has capsules that facilitate urine flow
three lowerers and one increaser await the sleeper
who is now awake and obediently opening his medicaments
and for the lowering doses he lows
and for his urethral widening he moos
then goes to the kitchen to graze
you are what you eat/but you also are what you want/and that is why your feed/is different from mine/and your reality/is algorithmically partnered/with what you seek
if you stopped using your handy phone/to find out about stuff/you would find yourself starving/craving/and going through ego-reinforcement withdrawal
but there is a weird way to turn this to your advantage
start seeking wonder and betterment/seek thought-provoke and challenge/seek compassion/seek utopia
–hey wait; you HAVE been doing that, consciously or not!
and that is what brought you…here!
you are welcome!
🙂
One with Clay, Image and Text 