the tall, tired-looking, overcoated man/walks with a slight limp up the sidewalk/on the east side of the bridge/that goes over the surging river

near its apex he stops and opens the box he has carried/and pulls out the drone it contained/along with its controller/and sets them both on the sidewalk

he puts a pale blue dot the drone will sense/in the middle of his forehead

pulls cut-resistant gloves from a pocket/and draws them on

picks up the controller/and punches and slides and joysticks the controls/and the camera-laden drone/stirs and rises and positions itself/a foot above and three feet away from his face/its bright green RECORD light gleaming

and the man says, “My name is Olaf Lindberg.

“I am a frustrated inventor. [pause]/I  am about to perform a demonstration/For which I will require more strength/than I normally have.”

dr. lindberg puts his gloved  hand in a pocket and pulls out a large spansule of deep green/pops it into his mouth, and swallows it.

he looks at the drone’s camera lens/and says, “I am not suicidal, but what I am about to do/ carries a moderate risk of injury,/and a slight risk of death.”

with that he jumps four feet upward/and grabs the chain-link fencing/arcing over the sidewalk/above his head.

the drone whirs upward in sync/guided by the pale blue dot.

(end of part one)

in 1958 a family of five/one infant two toddlers/and a heart-tuggingly young couple/moved from the Los Angeles megalopolis/to arizona’s valley of the sun/and bought a house that hadn’t quite been built yet/with saplings in front yard and back/and a floor plan identical or mirror-imaged/to thousands of those that would surround them

dirt roads got graded/old barns torn down/and concrete and asphalt were poured across an expanse/of former farmland

it was called the baby boom/and it made housing developer john f. long his fortune

aerial photography over midvalley over this fervent time/showed the valley residences spreading like a fungus/or an aboveground ant colony/growing everywhere but especially west

phoenix population more than doubled/glendale’s went up by an order of magnitude/and peoria and buckeye and avondale and points west o my

and we made stuff up as we went along/not as blazingly as the pioneers of a century back/but valiantly enough here and there

it doesn’t quite feel like history when you live it/but looking back/at all the violence and miracle and new language/wow

I grabbed a ball-point pen/And then untied a shoe/Unclad my foot and then/Inked up my archeroo.

“Step lively,” I affirmed/Near nail and metatarsal/In cursive supradermed/”If Wit won’t do, a Farce’ll,”

I wrote behind the heel,/And then be-ringed the ankle/”Brace. Let.” And then “Pig deal”/And asked, “Foot Odor rankle?”

Reshod, I walked untrippingly/And grinned, O Me-O, My-O,/I’d added, sanity-tippingly,/Some Footnotes to my bio.

fedoraku

headwear for gumshoes/impractical and stylish/some banded some plain

fedoraku2

on redondo pier/my then love fedora’d me/so adorably

capku

seed corn politics/ball teams philosophies all/on billboard foreheads

roundwearku

oliver hardy/wore a derby but patrick/macnee a bowler

tangentialechoku

a bowling champ goes/to the kentucky derby/and says “whoops–wrong hat”

Money stuffs a wallet,

Pizza stuffs a face.

Most downtowns are overstuffed

With hurting human race.

Pillows have their eiderdown

Turkeys breaded sausage.

Bonnie had her Clyde. A frown

Is stuffed with soured tossage.

Alveoli plump with oxy,

Peppers, Spanish rice.

Is this Stuff and Nonsense?

Maybe. Ain’t it nice?

**

Questions for the reader:

Do lines 3 and 4 serve the poem, even though their tone is more serious? Why not or why?

Is Line 7 necessarily lascivious? Does a sympathetic yet prudish reader tend to perform mental gymnastics to un-lasciviize it!

Did the reader see the “punchline” final lines coming? Are they off-putting in their self-servitude?

Do these questions themselves become a second poem?

Please feel free to use the Comments section to post your answers.

as is common in the primordial early morning/i was draining an old man’s bladder/after having blown my nose

there was a sensation of my nose starting to run on the left side/but what fell from my nostril and into the bowl/was a fat wobbly raindrop/of blood

then there was another one

so I pulled up my underwear/flushed and unrolled a few squares of tp/tilted my head back/and staunched

it took a while/but the toilet paper squares finished their job/spotted but unsoaked

and now a video loop plays over and over in my head/of that first fat blooddrop going from my nostril/in super-slow motion/and splashing into the bowl water

see it wobble/mildly elongate/touching down with a splash like a space capsule/with three parachutes

a little, nay, micro, ocean filled with corpuscles and plasma/platelets/and all kinds of information/about my recent drug and alcohol use/(zero, he says smugly)/and cholesterol level/glucose and blood gases/forecast for probability of survival five years hence/(guessing 40% plus-or-minus ten)

and then it splashes into the already-splashed-into water/and is flushed away

and the city’s sewage is further enhanced/with a geezer poet’s blood and urine

you want a piece of me, phoenix, Arizona, usa?

here ’tis/with my best regards

at work/handshaking and high-fiving are rare/but hugs amongst females/and knuckles amongst all/are common

the modern knuckles greeting/also known as bumping fists/will also involve the adjacent forearms/if the greeters are extra friendly

there is more of an energy exchange

camaraderie is a nice part of the work experience/and the technology exists/for the user interface to enable knuckles/even unto the forearms/to be administered remotely/in the augmented reality of modern computing

which leads to a sneaky question…

will ai entities/do knuckles/to fool humans/or each other?

“I’ve got everything I had twenty-five years ago. It’s just lower.” Gypsy Rose Lee

in the culture in which i was raised/perkiness of breasts was a plus/sagginess a minus/and “man-boobs” is now in the vocabulary/along with the contractive form “moobs”

here I sit on the edge of my unshared bed/unperky/sagging/able to tuck pencils under my moobs/and have them stay snugly in place

but my flesh meltdown is not that bad yet/in that if I stood up and straightened my spine/the pencils would fall to the floor

but i saw the future in july 1984/when my 76-year-old grandfather was given a birthday shirt/and took off his to put it on

with his imperious pharaoh goatee/and majestic gravity-pulled bulk/he looked like the god of california mudslides

i do feel irrational shame/because of the sag-stigma imposed by my upbringing/and i imagine women feel worse/though shame at such a natural evolvement/is just plain silly

let us all laugh at the universe/and its outrageous second law of thermodynamics/and face, nay, REJOICE, in the phenomenon of sagging

as an artist i will think of my sag-in-progress/as my solo slow-moving-sculpture show

for i now accept and embrace the fact/that the way of all flesh/is downward

“I’ve got everything I had twenty-five years ago. It’s just lower.” Gypsy Rose Lee

in the culture in which i was raised/perkiness of breasts was a plus/sagginess a minus/and “man-boobs” is now in the vocabulary/along with the contractive form “moobs”

here I sit on the edge of my unshared bed/unperky/sagging/able to tuck pencils under my moobs/and have them stay snugly in place

but my flesh meltdown is not that bad yet/in that if I stood up and straightened my spine/the pencils would fall to the floor

but i saw the future in july 1984/when my 76-year-old grandfather was given a birthday shirt/and took off his to put it on

with his imperious pharaoh goatee/and majestic gravity-pulled bulk/he looked like the god of california mudslides

i do feel irrational shame/because of the sag-stigma imposed by my upbringing/and i imagine women feel worse/though shame at such a natural evolvement/is just plain silly

let us all laugh at the universe/and its outrageous second law of thermodynamics/and face, nay, REJOICE, in the phenomenon of sagging

as an artist i will think of my sag-in-progress/as my solo slow-moving-sculpture show

for i now accept and embrace the fact/that the way of all flesh/is downward

boy meets girl is obsolete/two entwined’s still incomplete/souls a-melding might encompass/permutative joins and rumpus

dovetail joints can be most durable/furniture and loves referrable/metronomic • syncopated/relatively cross-related

just don’t be a gropy mutt/creeply inappropriate/mindfulness of situations/leads to gleeful destinations

patience pays and may well deal you/into hands of kindly milieu/don’t forget to breathe and grin/if the fun and games begin

share a gaze and up the voltage/help reduce the feather’s moltage/loneliness evaporates/doves entail the coo of mates