you can take sky with you/if you design your spacefaring vessel properly

there’s an expensive way involving a comet core/and a transparent encasing dome/and a huge volume of a mixture of gases

there’s a cheap cheating way/involving LEDs on interior surfaces

and then there’s the loophole/technicality way

and that where when you find your hospitable planet/you simply release some of the air/you brought from you home planet/into the new planet’s atmosphere/and it becomes part of the sky

a dollop of ice cream atop cherry cobbler/a wallop of frost on a jello-y wobbler/a trollop of hotfudgy sundae on tues/are treasures of taste you will not ever lose

a morsel of yolk-soaking sourdough toast/ensorcells the tenderfoot tongue that’s engrossed/endorsing the virtue of taste combinations/full measures of bliss in some well-blent sensations

scorn not epicureans shut-eyed with savor/corn hot dripping butter transports them with favor/pornographied food has transportative flavor/for Pleasures and Freedom are what we are brave for

(First published on Facebook, not long after the debate ended)

One of the candidates showed these characteristics:

Savvy
Hearty-Handshaking
Energizing

On topic
Winsome
Nurturing
Enthusiastic
Decisive

Healthy
Inclusive
Moxie-ful

The other?

Haranguing
Eewww-y

Loathsome
Outrageous
Sullen
Tantrum-y

In conclusion:

Victory
Over
The
Evil

Bombastic
Lurking
Ugh-Monster
Eventually.

a long time ago i was a ten-year-old kid and i was going to new york with my family in a t w a airplane and we were going to spend a few days on the island of manhattan

and i had a next-door neighbor friend named david hilyard or it might have been hillyard and we hung out together a lot and i told him about the trip and in a combination of bigshot-itis and a genuine wish to somehow have him enjoy the trip too i told him i would buy him a souvenir

next thing you know there i was at the u n building which looked like a giant glassy cereal box and in the gift shop they had a ballpoint pen with the u n insignia on it

and i bought it for david but here’s the thing i never gave it to him

and in fact i avoided him all the way up to when he and his family moved away

and though i don’t know exactly why i betrayed him that way I do know it wasn’t because i wanted to keep the pen

my guess is i was messed up psychologically and there was a weird mental membrane blocking me and not only did i betray david but also the self i could have been had i more gumption

so I now unburden myself s little by saying i’m sorry not only to david wherever he is

but to little gary as well

  1. Don’t just baffle them with bullshit. BOMBARD them with bullshit. BURY them in bullshit.
  2. If they catch you cheating, call THEM cheats. If they catch you lying, call THEM liars. You can do this with absolute sincerity, even if they haven’t cheated or lied since childhood.
  3. Find dirt on them. Ask their enemies. Go to the ends of the earth. Go back to last century if you need to. If you don’t find anything heart-stopping enough, make something up.
  4. When talking about how horrible your opponent is, ask an outrageous question and then weasel out of slander with your answer. Example: “Wasn’t she the one behind the human-trafficking and pedophilia activity operated out of a pizzeria? –I dunno, you tell me.”
  5. Predict awful, catastrophic stuff that is sure to happen should your opponent get elected. Stock-market crashes and world wars are good places to start, but don’t stop there.
  6. Every time your incumbent has something bad happen during their term in office, tell the world that it never would have happened if you had been in office.
  7. Whenever good stuff happens during your incumbent opponent’s term in office, ignore it, or, better yet, belittle it, or, best of all, take credit for it
  8. Make up a disparaging, alliterative name for your opponent. Use it as often as you can, dragging it in by the heels if need be.
  9. When making a speech, interrupt yourself constantly, avoiding short sentences, or preferably any complete sentence at all. Gibberish, delivered with a theatrically singsong voice and odd repetitive gestures, can be hypnotic
  10. Behind the scenes, make shady deals with hostile foreign powers and business folk seeking either legality for criminality or Cabinet posts. Sell that legality, sell those posts, sell pardons, and sell yourself as if there were no tomorrow.
  11. Avoid the Milk of Human Kindness at all costs.

.

Into the First World/I at birth was hurled/And 70 years on/I still try to have fon

So I oft ambulize/To my neighborhood Fry’s/And get goodmealed and juiced/With some prices reduced

As music by Getz swells/I purchase soft pretzels/The better to yum us/When dipped in fresh hummus

Pour Santé sans Malade/I buy Taco Salad/And cheap with no bilk/One gallon whole milk

If I was younger and more lusty

I’d notice the cashier is busty

But since I am a burned-out geezer

I make eye contact hope to ease her

Quick stride cannot linger/ Right hand trigger finger/That totes weighty parcel/So home or this farce’ll/May well come to grief/Ah I’m home now. Relief!!

their minds persist

in ink on white

in epitaphs

and monuments

their echoes heard

in language new

on celluloid

and structures tall

*

don’t call them ghosts

they are not gone

they are the mulch

from which we’ve grown

so blossom forth

and thank the souls

who well observed

and shared their thoughts

by yesterday’s end/plus nine and a halfish hours/i ended up here

and the earth has moved/nine hundred thou k toward/sagittarius

and the trump v harris/debate that will rock the world/is three days away

and i am a week/and nine days into my new/seventies decade

and three along with/its multiples is still the/prime mover number

the Muse isn’t always a woman/it’s often a Voice in your head/a powerful Strength you can summon/if you let yourself be so Led

ignore it at peril. Engagement/is locked in by seeing a Truth/as in Facing the source of enragement/or owning an Action uncouth

the Universe isn’t a puzzle/that’s constantly trying to Trick you/rabidity happens. A muzzle/applied may make Happenstance pick you

and give you adventures of Making/and show where may comrade or Lover be/take Ink or Pure Thought or Heart Breaking/and voyage on seas of Discovery

In order to walk in the Valley/And not be burnt crispy like bacon/You can stride and be bold/Where it’s Climate Controlled/And keep track of the steps you have taken

The Mall where they sell youth and tally-/Ho Lasses and Lads Game’s Afoot/Expressing your passion/With high crimes of fashion/And studies in vellum and soot

The Mall where the old are invisible/Or extras like Gramps One and Two/Where hypervitality’s/No abnormality/But greyheads are chimps in a zoo

Yet I do my Mall Walk and rally/My spirit to Dignified-Stately/And no one to vex if/I slip out the exit/And win introversion innately

Afterword: The phenomenon of the Shopping Mall seems to be on the wane, but Scottsdale Fashion Square, where I do my mall walking, it being easy for me to reach via public transportation, still seems to be bustling. But I do sometimes feel like the answer to “What’s Wrong with This Picture?” when I go there. With my Goodwill clothing and old-age countenance I am literally unfashionable.