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WordPress wished me a Happy Anniversary today. Nine years ago I made my first blog post. By the end of Year Ten, I hope to have done blog post #2000.

Today I offer an unflattering portrait. But it is not to humiliate. I hope it will motivate me to spend 2022 becoming a much fitter version of myself. We’ll see what happens.

This is also a nod to my former co-workers at SSP America. Often when someone would see me coming in and ask how I was doing, I’d say “Not bad for a fat, old guy.” “Oh, stop it,” some would reply. But I kept saying it, because I wanted to own my age and fat and still hold my own in the food-service milieu, where the average age and weight for the worker bees are much lower than 67 years and 238 pounds. Of course, before the pandemic I was both younger and lighter. Time to swing the pendulum back toward fitness and health!

20211203_132012

Fat Old Guy

Fall out of bed and shake a leg
For Life would take you down a peg

And flail and fry and fricasee you
And hear the White Lie “Nice to see you”

Time was I’d be considered Hunky
Today it’s Open Wide For Chunky

.

Note: When I was growing up and much of my focus was on Candy, there was a product called Chunky that was a biggish, ziggurat-shaped chunk of milk chocolate. Their television commercials always ended with a bass voice singing the four-word jingle “Open wide for Chunky.”

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Breaking a fast of a night full of dreams In a well-conceived ripping of old-notion seams Haunts a bachelor’s kitchen with ethery steams And wreaks chop-happy havoc on thought-laden streams. In other words, when I woke up after dreaming about friendship and loyalty, with the (not original with me, I’m sure, but there it was, echoing away) phrase “some friendships never die until both friends have died” looping in my head, I lurched into the kitchen, found some items that would suit, and prepared a meal while looking with a strange lens at what I was doing.

Recently I read T. S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land.” I don’t pretend to fully understand it. There are helpful footnotes and biographical material in the edition I own (Penguin Classic, The Waste Land and other Poems, edited and with an introduction and notes by Frank Kermode, purchased at the amazing The Book House in St. Louis, Missouri, Eliot’s home town) but the sense of Eliot’s focus choices still eludes me. I see and touch the parts of his poetic elephant without getting a good, wide-angled, aerial-photography look at the elephant itself. Time, research and thought will take care of that, I trust. Meanwhile I’m in the kitchen, a bit sleep-befuddled, under a slight Eliot influence. As I start chopping the potato I think of how much better it would be to say “There’s more than one way to chop a potato” than “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” Those poor cats!!! (In St. Louis I spent several days in the company of my cartoonist/poet friend Russ Kazmierczak and his significant other, the cat-adoring Missy Pruitt. I like cats myself, but Missy has devoted a portion of her life-energy to the welfare of cats on a scale beyond most of us.) (If T. S. Eliot had never existed, the play Cats would never have existed either, and Paul Newman would never have gotten up in his seat in the audience of “The Late Show with Letterman” and demanded, “Where the Hell are THE SINGING CATS??!” Thoughts don’t come out of nowhere.) (Russ K is a huge Letterman fan. I’m hoping this passage will bring him a smile. Russ is a huge Missy Pruitt fan too. If Eliot were writing this, he would make less sense but be much more eloquent.)

Anyway, I ended up chopping the potato unconventionally. I did half in thin slices of wedges, a third in discs, and the rest just a home-fries chopchop. And I made a staged potatoscape and thought of what potential the right painting of the scape would have in elbowing its way into the Museum of Modern Art.

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Potatoes need company. This one was accompanied by slow-sautéed scrambled eggs, topped by Mexican-style blend grated cheese and surprise guest red-pepper-enhanced hummus, applied to the surface of the melting cheese using a two-spoon technique I invented for the occasion. I’d never used hummus as an ingredient before, and I may not have if I hadn’t been addled by dreams and haunting Eliot allusions, but no regrets: it was just the right amount to add a red-peppery tang. Having eaten, I am now a slightly different person than I was before I woke: slightly better nourished both by foodstuffs and by eerie, arty, Eliot-laced musings. May you, Friends, find just the sustenance and musement you yourself need today!

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I am a disbeliever in miracles, though I have some sympathy for my late, great friend Karen W’s Course in Miracles definition of a Miracle as “a change in perception.” But Childbirth does seem miraculous, and holy, to me. It is an essence of hope. It is that fabled Death-Defying Act

That said, if a potential parent doesn’t want to have children, case closed as far as I’m concerned: they absolutely ought not to have children. There should be zero pressure from relatives, and especially there should be zero pressure from significant others, for someone who doesn’t want children to have them anyway. And Contraception ought to be vigorously employed in such cases. The “be fruitful and multiply” edict was initiated when the world population was far fewer than one billion. The more billions we add, the more overall quality of human life goes down.

Sorry about the preaching. May all the childbirths in your life be cause for joyous celebration!

off (offset) set

offspring nascent in the throes
ferment verdant purple rose
fellow mellow friend or ghost

2021 1101 dream of a 10 yr old

Sometimes old dreams float up to the surface of consciousness after more than half a century. This is one such, but it is not a faithful recording of the dream, which did involve being on a strange planet in the dark, but didn’t have any floating triangles. What it is is the collaboration of two dreamers, one a kid, and one that still-kid decades hence.

2021 1019 niceness

A few days ago I went to a multi-year high school reunion of my fellow Glendale High School alumni. We were almost all in our late 60s and early 70s. Compared to our high school selves, we were almost to a person saggy and baggy and crepey and creaky and greyish and bulky, but not sulky, rather cheerful, glad to be vertical, glad to see friends. I came away with a good feeling, a nice feeling, and somehow the lens of that evening obscurely guided my pencil and my wordstacker.

niceness

now we hoist a cup or stein
in a toast to life divine
cherishing our kin and friends
effervescence never ends

20210929_151019For the entire month of September I had display space at Bookmans Entertainment Exchange, a charming emporium just north of the Northern Ave Light Rail exit, and on the 29th I was the “Meet the Artist” artist, doing free sketches and demonstrating Acrostic Poetry construction.

The 29th also coincided with my publication of Volume II of my Lives of the Eminent Poets of Greater Phoenix, AZ series.

I also drew free sketches for customers. This lady wanted the “S” Superhero symbol. I was glad to try. When I asked her name she said “Superwoman.”

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I also offered for sale merchandise that included postcards and refrigerator magnets of my artwork.

I didn’t make much money with this venture, but I think I made a ton of FUTURE money if I act on what I learned. Next time an arts or crafts fair nearby has a call for vendors, and there are no scheduling conflicts, I may just take another flying leap. 🙂

2021 0926 paul michael dlouhy
Paul Dlouhy, whose last name is a near-rhyme for “allow me,” allowed me permission to do this page with this texted proviso: “Yeah, sure. Just as long as you’re not profiting on my name, or fame. Because you know people our lining up to get in on that. haha!” Though he might not have the fame a fair world ought to grant him, he has the chops. He’s a terrific performer, whether he reads from his journal or puts on a mask with a weird mouthhole and uses a voice that partakes of the macabre DNA of both Peter Lorre and Vincent Price. (The audience was blown away by that one. There may have been some nightmares that night.)

He also plays harmonica, and the “Have Harp, Will Improvise” on this page refers especially to his spot-on, unrehearsed accompaniment to one of my own performances, when he didn’t know a word of the poem I was doing and only had the threadbare instruction “Start with a sort of walking-blues vibe and then just react to what I say…” He helped alchemize my rather leaden, monotonous-voiced recitation into entertainment gold (judging by the enthusiastic crowd response).  Paul not only saved my bacon, he put a fluffy omelet next to it. He is a man of gentle Greatness.

Paul Michael Dlouhy

Protest with Music and well-spoken word
Add a disguise and let Oddness unfurl
Upgrade a shtick with a voice from a zoo
Undermine Hatred with Humor très fou
Loosing a harp with æthereal reach
Leaps into Kindliness teaching Unpreachy

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One of the blessings of being poets in the Valley of the Sun is that we have in our midst a talented, hard-working, generous Superstar.  How talented? Read her poetry and gasp. How hard-working? Try teaching for twenty years while caring for a child on the autistic spectrum. How generous? She is lavish with her time, having hosted and/or participated many events, both live and on Zoom; lavish with her praise, as I found out when I did an illustration for her publication The Revolution; and lavish with sharing her wisdom, as exemplified by her series of spot lectures under the umbrella “Ars Poetica.” (Latin for “Art of Poetry” and the title of an awe-inspiringly contradictory poem by Archibald MacLeish. Its first line is “A poem should be palpable and mute” and yet the poem is not Mute at all.) (I long ago abandoned my ambition to be any sort of Poet Laureate, but I think I’m an excellent candidate for Arse Poetica. 🙂 )

Rosemarie believes that writing poetry is therapeutic, and frequently she hosts a Therapeutic Poetry workshop. I’ve written a few poems exactly because she says so.  Under that aegis the poems become intensely personal.

In a wonderful demonstration by the Universe that sometimes miraculously fine and good things can and DO happen, some time ago Rosemarie became the first Poet Laureate of Phoenix, Arizona. She was the perfect choice.

Rosemarie Dombrowski

Resilience will meet a special need
Occluding Tragedy, though, offs the feed./O
SEcrets are anathema for whom
Maternity goes far beyond the womb
And so Non-Silence reigns, with child in tow/For
Righteous storytelling makes it so
It makes a fine and free-flow
Ecstasy/To TEACH to Touch to Thrive and with verse Ski

2021 0923 sara griffin
This is not my first portrait attempt with Sara. I did one for her birthday, but it wasn’t very good, though she accepted it graciously. I think I did a little better this time, but getting her just right still eludes me.

Sara, once known to me as Hydroxia Gryphon, can perform without a net, metaphorically speaking. She will without a cheat sheet face a crowd and begin singing a capella, and it sounds both spontaneous and pre-ordained.  Her voice is pure and elemental, remindful of a prairie wind.

Sara Will Sing

Scent of sage wafts in the chorus
As the prairie girl sings for us./I
Really love to feel that keen
As deseert zephyrs wail and cling

2021 0923 patrick hareThis is my approximation of Patrick Hare, a mordant and acerbic Valley poet who uses his poetry to skewer cultural wrongdoers who interfere with his enjoyment of daily life. His harangue on the grocery-counter ambusher-cashiers who hit you up for a worthy-cause donation when you just want to pay for your stuff and get out is howlingly hilarious, but dark as can be and not for the squeamish. He says out loud what many of us dare not even think. But he’s a real sweetheart offstage, so I tried to say so in my acrostic:

Wild Hare

Wisteria hides a Pariah
Indignant but sweet as Papaya
Lord Snarky gives dummies What For
Delivering Takedowns galore