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black bolt and karaoke fanboy 090215

Some time before the Jack Kirby show organized by Russ “Karaoke Fanboy” Kazmierczak, I mentioned to Russ that my favorite Kirby-drawn superhero was Black Bolt, leader of the diasporadic Inhumans. Later I found out that Black Bolt’s full name according to Wikipedia is Blackagar Boltagon. Isn’t that awful?

On my birthday Russ presented me with a Black Bolt action figure. (Russ has a thing for action figures.) When you push in his tummy (Black Bolt’s, not Russ’s) his arms come up, making his membranous sidewings flight-ready. For Black Bolt can fly. He can also use that tuning fork on his head to harness electrons, combining them with a mysterious, unknown subatomic particle that emanates from the speech center of his brain. (Black Bolt dares not join the Karaoke Fanboy in song; his unleashed voice shatters mountains.)

Sure he’s preposterous. But so was that clumsy-spoken, tablet-wielding, bush-talking Moses, on whom Black Bolt, I contend, is at least loosely based.

As for the Fanboy, here’s a double acrostic I did of him at the Cholla branch of the Phoenix Public Library, finding, to my delight, that I may return to the same drawing-on-scrap proclivity that served me in such good stead when I was working for Sedona Winds.

kf 090215

Kirbyphile & He-Man buff
Artist, songster, other stuff
A rustlin’hustler gives a damn
And breaks down doors with splinter’d jamb
O Action Figure–go deploy
O key to living: ROCK that toy

The transcription does not preserve the acrostic, but it’s more coherent.

Russ has a new chapbook out. He honored me by asking me to write the Introduction. Here is an excerpt from my introduction, but be warned: it contains at least one cussword.

William Blake cried in print I want! I want! and then Erica Jong quoted him in Fear of Flying. Philip Jose Farmer wrote “The Lovers,” a landmarkedly explicit work of science fiction, and he also wrote Image of the Beast/Blown, even more explicit, which features two of the weirdest and most frightening women you’ll ever care to read of. Edna St. Vincent Millay wrote “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed,” which is heartbreakingly confessional and revelatory of the need and ache which drives us and drives us away. And Dorothy Parker wrote “Travel, trouble, music, art/A kiss, a frock, a rhyme;/I never said they steal my heart,/But still, they pass the time.” That Dorothy could do anything, including leading a horticulture. (“You can lead a horticulture, but you cannot make her think,” she answered instantly, after she was asked to use the word Horticulture in a sentence.) And she was rumored to have sent a message to her publisher who was nagging her about a deadline while she was on her honeymoon, “Too fucking busy, and vice versa.”

Into the midst of this pantheon of twisted romantics strides Russ Kazmierczak . . .

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Sunday was a marvelous Birthday Pot Luck at the home of the Birthday Girl herself, Julie Elefante, and her Hun, Robert Lee. There was a literal Poet’s Corner where I sat next to the Funniest Man on Earth, Bill Campana, and across from the weirdnormal, staggeringly incisive Patrick Hare.

About five years ago I self-published LIVES of the Eminent Poets of Greater Phoenix, Arizona, Volume I. Eighteen local poets were portraitized and acrosticized by me. (Julie was one of them.) Not long after that I asked Patrick if he’d be willing for me to do a Patrick Hare page. He either graciously or grudgingly agreed–hard to tell sometimes. (I kid.) Then years passed, and I kind of fell off the Volume II rails, though I’d done more portraits than I had in Volume I. (Layout and finishing are lethal stressors, said the Drama Queen.) But when I saw Patrick at Julie’s, I asked him again, and he was kind enough not only to assent, but also to send me a link to his incongruous/hilarious nature videos, overvoiced by him reciting his poetry. (The link is http://www.Youtube.com/incognitocorp and I recommend the “Checkout Charity” vid for those new to Patrick’s performance poetry.)

The card of him above is what is known in the biz as a “concept rough,” containing the idea of an image without much care to the execution thereof. The card not of him is a poem I wrote this morning after I took the bus. It is also rough, but I needed something to perform at Jake Friedman’s UPTOWN P.E.N. event.

Got more to say but it’s late. This whole POST is a Concept Rough . . .

Today I’m going to a birthday pot luck for my poet friend Julie Elefante. I decided to write a sonnet dedicated to her. I thought that would be a good birthday present because, regardless of the quality of the sonnet, it would represent an expenditure of at least an hour of my life, which Julie is certainly worth, and more. But I had a little change left out of that hour, so I illustrated/calligraphed the last line of the sonnet.

god’s on it/godsonnet

to Julie Elefante

when god beheld the universe she’d wrought
it talked to her in many-colored voices,
it cheered and whined and folded want with lot,
and asked advice regarding need and choices.

then god, whilst folding towels and wreaking mayhem,
administered a word to undeservers.
the word was when, referring not to a.m.
but to creation’s dawn, its queues and servers.

then followed who and where, addressed to prey-ers,
who guaranteed a heated destination
with ‘prayer’ that preys on truth and mutes its sayers,
and god said why, and tried another station.

one final concept bubbled up to be
and god said what and proved her deity.

godsonnet2

Friends, a modern education is a slippery thing. There is less correlation between Knowledge and Credentials than when I strolled the campus of the University of Arizona, lo these 40-or-so years ago. Modern technology enables virtual attendance, making it unnecessary to meet anyone in a class, including the professor, if any. Where it will lead, I hope, is a gentle revolution resulting in academic freedom, including zero cost for the sincere seekers of usable Truth.

academic

A SHEEPSKIN when you pass the tests
Cannot prevent a bod at rest.
And though you play a fine sonata
Don’t quit yer day job ‘less you gotta.
Employments sucks just like some vermin
Enjoyment’s there–just be determined.
May A C A D E M I A
Inclined/To chew our
Cud MAKE UP ITS MIND.

Finally, a very Happy Birthday to the lovely and talented Denise Huntington, former Sweetheart and fellow Index Card A Day participant. We parted ways a good five months ago, but I hold her in the highest esteem, and I am sure I always will. Hope your day is Fun, dear Denise!

Dick Van Dyke idolized Stan Laurel. They met in the early sixties. Stan declined to be on The Dick Van Dyke Show but watched the episode wherein Van Dyke impersonated him. He later told Van Dyke that it was the best impersonation of him he’d ever seen, but there were a few things he noticed. In the movies, Stan Laurel used paper clips as cuff links. He took the heels off his shoes to alter his walk. And “The hat was a little off.”

“I knew it. Yours and Ollie’s had flat brims. Mine curled slightly. I tried to find one like yours. I even tried ironing the brim on my derby.”

Stan Laurel laughed gently and said, “Young man, why didn’t you just ask me? You could have used mine.”

That’s the kind of guys they were.

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PS: I learned all this today while I was reading Dick Van Dyke: My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business by Dick Van Dyke. My Steady Girl, Joy, owns the book and has graciously lent it to me. It’s a good read, the more so because the writing seems to be pure, unedited Dick Van Dyke, except, of course, for the Foreword by Carl Reiner.

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The Beatles made a lot of great love music–“Here, There and Everywhere,” “I Will,” “Something,” “I Need You,” and “And I Love Her” spring immediately to mind–but this one has a special place in my heart, which shows you what a sentimental sap I can be. So be it!