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Turtle or tortoise? I ran into this alliterative answer this afternoon: “Totally terrestrial Testudines are tortoises.” (The source for this 5-worder is http://www.ncaquariums.com.)

Today I drew a “turtle” based on a friend’s photo found on Facebook. (Alliteration is contagious…) Then I halved “Turtle” to bookend a double acrostic, and having warmed up with halving mayhem, I inflicted impending insidious impact. (Vowel sounds are assonance, not alliteration.)

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Tortoises misnomered meet
Tarryingly in the street
Under streetlamps they compel
Undercarriages to dwell
Run down they won’t praise nor blame
Rather ask you not misname

It is Mother’s Day as this is being written. Jane Stoneman, my mother, was camera-shy when I asked to take a picture. But she had no objection to my sketching butterflies. The Butterfly is my mother’s totem creature. So this is an odd portrait of my mother, not from life, not psychological, but metaphysical.

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And here is another image. This one combines image and text, some hidden.

001-10Here are the words, hidden or not:

Balanced on a thermal puff
Undulant in gardens floral
Tethered to migration’s taxi
Thinned unto endangering
Extralocal through & through
Roving through this continent

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A few months and a seeming hundred years ago, I was living in Cottonwood, Arizona, and working at the front desk at Sedona Winds Independent Living Retirement Community in the Village of Oak Creek. Every 3-to-11 shift I worked part of my job was to create a new menu for the next day. When the dining room closed for the day I’d remove that day’s menus from the menu holders and then place the next day’s menus in the holders. We recycled some of the menus as scrap paper. Many of my posted images on this blog were created on the backs of those menu scraps.

One such remained unfinished at the time of my departure from Sedona Winds and subsequently from Cottonwood. I remember it had a swirly, flowing backdrop and some of a triple-acrostic poem entitled “Body of Work.” I thought of it as perhaps 80% finished and in need of a bit more structured image and a good punchline/last line for the poem.

After I finished the Pat McMahon page, I thought “Body of Work” would be a good one to finish. Alas, I have not been able to find it, though I looked every place it could possibly be. (Of course that’s not true, and I’ll probably smack my forehead with my hand when it turns up.) Lacking the original, I set about making another one. The above result bears almost no similarity to the original, nor should it–I’m different now, and have hundreds of hours more pencil work under my belt. The spirit is probably similar, though. It is an admonition to Produce. Not for the first time on this blog, I’ll print Thomas Carlyle’s famous quotation:

Produce! Produce! Were it but the pitifullest infinitesimal fraction of a Product, produce it, in God’s name! ’Tis the utmost thou hast in thee: out with it, then. Up, up! Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy whole might. Work while it is called To-day: for the Night cometh, wherein no man can work.

My grandfather, Paul L. Householder, gives us the other quotation, the one on my image: “Do the thing and you shall have the power.” Daydreams are good only to the extent that they raise yearning to the level of a need to accomplish. Soon or late the daydream must end and work be performed to make the daydream real.

At sixty years of age, my memory is starting to decay. My left elbow thinks it needs oil a la the Tin Woodsman, and my linework, I being left-handed, gets the occasional elbow yip sending my line askew. My eyesight is astigmatic enough to give me two full moons for the price of one. But I will Produce until my night cometh.

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Kids in the Valley of the Sun growing up in the late Fifties (or Sixties, or Seventies, or Eighties) were in a sense the luckiest kids on Earth. There was something on TV that was special beyond belief. Early on it was called “It’s Wallace?” and its name changed over time, but it was where you could see not only great cartoons but a fine ensemble cast. There was Wallace, the host–wore a polka-dot shirt and a funny hat, liked to sketch on an easel with Magic Marker, congenial and yet subversive–and there was Ladmo: tall guy, tall top hat, outrageously huge tie, rubber longface, sweet and gullible. And there was an insufferable Scottsdale upper-cruster with blonde locks, sometimes Dutch-boy straight, sometimes curly, dressed in mutant Little Lord Fauntleroy garb. That was Gerald. There was a delusional unsuper superhero who claimed to be able to rip apart phone books and crush uncrushable objects–but even the Ajo (population low, low, low) phone book was too much for him, and while he did manage to crush a Hostess Fruit Pie in his bare hand, it took all he had to do so. That was Captain Super.

And there was a salty old lady in a shawl with a glad eye for a gray-haired Phoenix cop. She told fairy tales that were not only fractured, but twisted. That was Aunt Maud. And a Gunsmokey guy without a clue. That was Marshall Good. And a dissipated, dispirited clown who demoed his bag of tricks, like a triple-take with nyuk-nyuks. That was Boffo the Clown, also known as Ozob the Clown. And there were many others.

All but the first two mentioned were performed by Pat McMahon, who, more than a decade before Saturday Night Live came to be, brought a Sybil-like spectrum of zany personalities to the service of sketch comedy. He had endless energy and he could improvise like nobody’s business. As Gerald he responded to boos from the kids in the studio audience with the pristinest of prissy hissy fits. “Public School brats!” he’d rage.

There were dozens of other characters. One attained national prominence via Steve Allen–the gargantuan-eyebrowed, juvenile-delinquent-haired Hub Kapp, who with his Wheels performed on Mr. Allen’s show in 1964. Interested parties need only do a search on “Steve Allen” “Hub Kapp” to find a video of their performances.

After Wallace, Ladmo and Gerald-et-al folded up their TV tent and transitioned to legend, Mr. McMahon had–and has–an enormously successful career as pitchman (examples: HBO, Ottawa University, Lennar Homes) and radio (KOOL 94.5) and TV-show host (Arizona TV). His body of work is enormous and impactive. One impact is on me, who at 60 years of age still have enough kid in my heart to think of Mr. McMahon’s endlessly inventive shenanigans and smile–and chuckle–and laugh out loud. So I mustered all the wherewithal I had to do this page of him.

Funny how this makes two limerick acrostics in a row. The limerick form does suit the subject’s Irishness. I was only able to directly reference two characters, but “Alakazam” evokes Wallace’s summoning of Captain Super with a magic wand. However, the Secret Word was not Alakazam, but “JUSTICE!”

Recipe for Success

Pour 3 cups of Alakazam
Add Maud-ified Honey Baked Ham–a
Teaspoon of Scoff…oh,
Mix well–fold in Boffo
Chill–heat–serve–enjoy: it’s Hot Damn

Yesterday I was looking at the Rotten Tomatoes movie-review website and the movie poster for  the comedy documentary MISERY LOVES COMEDY came up. It features the co-creator of SEINFELD (and admitted model for the character George Costanza), Larry David. He has a beautiful, open-countenanced grin on his face, and I was drawn to drawing it. As I drew it occurred to me that his name lends itself to a double acrostic of five lines. The next thing to occur was that a limerick has five lines. I’ve written hundreds of limericks. Why not one more?

Well, one reason why not, in this case, is that DAVID is a lousy right-side bookend for a limerick’s double acrostic. D and D end letters can easily be made to rhyme, but not with the third partner, A.

But LARRY, while a challenge, is doable. Many French words end in L and are pronounced with a long A. L and A and Y are mutually rhymeable. And with Cirque du Soleil partaking of skewed thinking, as does Larry David, the rhyming became an easy L A Y indeed. (Bad pun of the day. I am sorry, a little bit.)

And if my portraiture misses the mark a bit (I don’t think it does, but I’m not the person to ask; you are) I can always claim I didn’t draw Larry David, but David Larry. Same goes for the content of the limerick if it’s not such a good match.

Deriving from Cirque du SoleiL
Anonymous Nays to ye YeA
Vault over the barrieR
Inviting the carrieR
Deliver canned laffs to the fraY

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Whether dancing in diaphanous veils, or infusing a slam performance with her lovely singing voice, Crystal GKill is entertaining and astounding. I had the good fortune to run into her at a writing conference in Phoenix last weekend, and she graciously allowed me to take her picture for the purpose of doing this page.

Here are the words to the acrostic:

Crazed challenges make for a slam with zinG
Creation & performance make her sinG

Yet she’s outside the box, not by the booK
You’ll give her 10 to get another looK

Stirred audiences stand & cheer until

All accolades attest to her fine skill

Tomorrow is a special day. The Emma Thompson Project, Segment 6 of 6, will be published. I will then move on to other matters, and the magnificent Ms. Thompson may breathe a sigh of relief. (I’m NOT a stalker, but I seem to be playing one on WordPress. 🙂 )

Meanwhile, all but one of the images that follow may be considered in the same vein that a rocker’s bootlegs may. They are unofficial, not part of the Project, just “I didn’t go yet” loosening-up. The page with the sonnet, though, will play a part in Segment 6. If I can wrestle the sonnet into a less forced-seeming array, I will. But if not it will be on the final image word for word. It is a more ambitious job of wordsmithing than the one I did for Theodore Sturgeon: fourteen lines, iambic pentameter, double acrostic saying EMMA THOMPSON IS EXTRAORDINARY, mutant Petrarchan rhyme scheme, with exactly one of her past, present or future movies or series resident on every line. The extraordinary Emma Thompson, intuition says, must have an extraordinary sonnet.

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Today I fought impatience, clumsiness, and the distraction of the 3rd round of the PGA Master’s tournament, alternating between study-sketches of Emma Thompson with her costars Dustin Hoffman and Sir Anthony Hopkins, and Emma Thompson with three other Emma Thompsons. Catching her likeness is still a hit-or-usually-miss proposition. I have trouble with her chin, her exquisite but caricaturish mouth, and her overall likeness, which in my still-incapable hand ranges from Cate Blanchettish to Florence Hendersonish. Persistence and practice will take care of that, I hope.

Here are the images:

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