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the bone broth and potatoes and yellow and red peppers

have made themselves a guest room

for the boneless pork cutlets

which simmer in their butter white pepper and salt

and throw a delightful cooked-meat smell

into this otherwise dreary dwelling

and I feel bad for observant jews and muslims

who deny themselves this segment

of the protein presentment

.

a sharpened chef’s knife would be ideal

But a serrated shorties from the block works fine

chop chop to subdivide

plop plop to incorporate

and yum yum to the unplopped

speared one cube at a time with the fork

slatherdipped in applesauce

and slowly sweetly savored

eggplant ahoy

about twenty years ago my pal mike
walked me through the creation
of eggplant parmigiana

i only made it that once
but today in the produce section of fry’s
the most gorgeous eggplant called my name

so I acquired it and took it home
but as i recall parmigiana is a messy make
so now I’m looking at videos

martha stewart seems to treat eggplant
as if it were a fat purple zucchini
slicing off the ends and then subdividing

I might do that and then throw it in a colander
with salt as she advised
to quell its possible bitterness

but i don’t want to hack it to pieces
its lovely deep purple is glossier
than the paint job on a corvette

and it did call my name
so maybe we’ll become more than friends
said the disgusting sicko

Author’s breakfast, 24 January 2025

meal

the meal started with a good night’s sleep. the night before i’d e-mailed the managers at work that i thought i’d overworked my post-surgical hand the past three days and would therefore rest my hand today. when the alarm went off at 2:10 am I shut it off and got three more hours of sleep.

when i woke and took my four pills and flossed and brushed i thought i’d walk a mile and a quarter and end up at mcdonald’s, there to have an egg mcmuffin or two, but i knew i had ingredients for a cheaper and more nutritious meal at home. got a roma tomato and mexican-blend cheese and a carton of eggs and sausage and white onion from the fridge. put a bit of canola oil into a fry pan and put a third of a chopped white onion in the oil, tipping the pan and spatula-tossing till they were coated.

broke two eggs into a white bowl i’d made  last year and whisked to semi-homogeneity. removed the now-caramelized onion from the pan and poured the egg in. kosher-salted and peppered and tipped the pan around to make of the eggs a circular continent. after leisurely cooking on medium heat i spatula-compelled the continent into sharpei-like folds. let rest/fry one more minute, then plated and sprinkled the rough-shredded cheese on top.

into the pan i dropped two lumps of sausage totalling about a quarter pound. spatula-mashed them as thin as I could get them without raggettifying their edges, then cranked the heat and let them sit while I fast-sliced the tomato, eating the exotic ends.

a flip for the sausage patties, a lowering of the heat, and i let the patties fry while i put the plate of eggs and cheese and onions in the microwave for thirty seconds. added the sausage patties to the plate. put the plate on the laptops on the table and set kosher salt and pepper next to the plate and the mostly-empty jug of whole milk nearby. took and photo edited the photo you see.

and i ate/mixing bites/it is great/such delights/warm and cold/salty-savory/ne’er gets old/bursty-flavory/sweet whole milk/for the beverage/adds the silk/for the leverage/over sadness/over trauma/past the madness/past the drama/upping tempo/and nutrition/braiding hemp–o/hail Nutrition!

and I thank Heaven, and Goodness, and this moment’s Reality, and i thank whoever reads all the way down for your steadfast attention, and i wish you Good Appetite of Victuals, Words and Happiness.

Friends, technical difficulties have kept me from posting anything at all this March. My “Media Library” has reached its gigabyte limit despite my efforts to free up space. But as long as I don’t try to upload an image I can still make a post. I didn’t want a full month to go by without one, so here we are.

Some good things are happening. Donald Trump has at long last been indicted, and though the Republican party is making shameful noise about “political persecution,” it seems that the only person who claims he’s innocent is Trump himself, and he is as usual lying. He wishes that something will distract the public from this indictment, and I hope he’ll get his wish–in the form of OTHER, MORE SERIOUS indictments. As Bob Woodward says, he is a threat to Democracy. Let us try him. May he find the Justice he deserves, and may it be swift and thorough.

My personal life has taken an interesting turn. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I will be reporting for an apprenticeship program for prep cooks, come the 10th of April. I bought a chef’s knife today to get some practice in. Three carrots, eight radishes, a navel orange and a white onion have already laid down their lives for the sake of my training.

School shootings are still rife in this so-called Land of the Free. Yet wrong-minded folks still post “guns don’t kill people” propaganda, largely under the influence of the disgraced NRA. Our civilization is tainted with barbarism.

Friends, I’ll be back in April. Stay safe, please, and seek happiness!

Most Tuesdays I do a feature in a Facebook group called Poets All Call. It’s called Title Tuesday, and I invite my fellow Poets to write poems using my titles as prompts. Today I had so much fun with it that I now want to share it with my WordPress readership. So without further Ado…

Title Tuesday, 8 March 2022

“Hey Good Lookin
What cha got cookin?
How about cookin somethin up with me?”

Hank Senior

Friends, I’ve been doing a lot of Crock-Pot cooking lately. Today I am also Crock-Potting poem titles, changing one word of famous game shows to fit the theme.

The Spice Is Right
Let’s Make a Meal
Wheel of Four-Cheese
You Bet Your Lime
The Spatch Game

Spatch is short for Spatula.

Just have fun, Kids. And for more fun for all of us, post a pic of what YOU are Cookin, just like I did.

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Breaking a fast of a night full of dreams In a well-conceived ripping of old-notion seams Haunts a bachelor’s kitchen with ethery steams And wreaks chop-happy havoc on thought-laden streams. In other words, when I woke up after dreaming about friendship and loyalty, with the (not original with me, I’m sure, but there it was, echoing away) phrase “some friendships never die until both friends have died” looping in my head, I lurched into the kitchen, found some items that would suit, and prepared a meal while looking with a strange lens at what I was doing.

Recently I read T. S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land.” I don’t pretend to fully understand it. There are helpful footnotes and biographical material in the edition I own (Penguin Classic, The Waste Land and other Poems, edited and with an introduction and notes by Frank Kermode, purchased at the amazing The Book House in St. Louis, Missouri, Eliot’s home town) but the sense of Eliot’s focus choices still eludes me. I see and touch the parts of his poetic elephant without getting a good, wide-angled, aerial-photography look at the elephant itself. Time, research and thought will take care of that, I trust. Meanwhile I’m in the kitchen, a bit sleep-befuddled, under a slight Eliot influence. As I start chopping the potato I think of how much better it would be to say “There’s more than one way to chop a potato” than “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” Those poor cats!!! (In St. Louis I spent several days in the company of my cartoonist/poet friend Russ Kazmierczak and his significant other, the cat-adoring Missy Pruitt. I like cats myself, but Missy has devoted a portion of her life-energy to the welfare of cats on a scale beyond most of us.) (If T. S. Eliot had never existed, the play Cats would never have existed either, and Paul Newman would never have gotten up in his seat in the audience of “The Late Show with Letterman” and demanded, “Where the Hell are THE SINGING CATS??!” Thoughts don’t come out of nowhere.) (Russ K is a huge Letterman fan. I’m hoping this passage will bring him a smile. Russ is a huge Missy Pruitt fan too. If Eliot were writing this, he would make less sense but be much more eloquent.)

Anyway, I ended up chopping the potato unconventionally. I did half in thin slices of wedges, a third in discs, and the rest just a home-fries chopchop. And I made a staged potatoscape and thought of what potential the right painting of the scape would have in elbowing its way into the Museum of Modern Art.

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Potatoes need company. This one was accompanied by slow-sautéed scrambled eggs, topped by Mexican-style blend grated cheese and surprise guest red-pepper-enhanced hummus, applied to the surface of the melting cheese using a two-spoon technique I invented for the occasion. I’d never used hummus as an ingredient before, and I may not have if I hadn’t been addled by dreams and haunting Eliot allusions, but no regrets: it was just the right amount to add a red-peppery tang. Having eaten, I am now a slightly different person than I was before I woke: slightly better nourished both by foodstuffs and by eerie, arty, Eliot-laced musings. May you, Friends, find just the sustenance and musement you yourself need today!

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In the refrigerator there are things that must be eaten soon–carrots, spinach, a tomato, and some defrosted “chicken breast tenders.” The Bachelor is out of ordinary table salt and does not wish to use garlic salt.

So he takes the chicken, lemon-peppers about two breasts’ worth, wraps half in a whole green chili and then in aluminum foil (reflective side inward), does the same with the other half, and puts them in a gas oven set to 400° F. They will be in the oven for an hour.

He then thin-slices half the tomato and wedge-chunks the other half. A handful and a half of spinach goes into a cut-crystal bowl.

There are peeled “baby” carrots and there are treetrunky, unpeeled regular carrots. The babies get halved longitudinally and then sliced to about two-millimeter thicknesses. (At first he tried chopping without halving, and found that the chopping turned  the new slices into projectiles. He is learning by trial and error.) The little halfmoons of carrot babies will go with the chunked tomato into the spinach; half a bowl’s worth of large carrots, grated, will join a handful of raisins and a healthy squeeze of Kraft squeeze-bottle mayonnaise and four packets of Splenda, fork-mixed, to make carrot-raisin salad. The spinach salad, hand-tossed thoroughly, is dressed with two parts apple cider vinegar to one part extra virgin olive oil, pre-mixed, and then hand-tossed again, yielding salad-redolent hands that must be dishsoap-washed (“4X greasecutting action,” the label says) immediately.

The hour has passed, and the two foil packets are opened ouch-fingeredly, a handful of “Mexican-blend” cheese sprinkled/ladled on each packet, and the foil folded closed to facilitate cheese-melting. The table is set with oyster crackers and Fritos available as salt supplements–forkful of chickenchilicheese, half-handful of Fritos per bite (the oyster crackers turned out to be too bland). Bite sequence chick, carrotraisin, spinach, chicken, spinach/repeat maximized satisfaction, with cold Sapporo beer administered as needed. When the spinach and chicken were gone, the remainder of the carrot-raisin salad served well as dessert.

While the meal was prepared the Bachelor muttered to his deceased brother, “Wish you were here, Brian. I’d feed ya good.” He listened for an answer but this time there was none. Nevertheless, while eating he tried to communicate the deliciousness of the feast into the spirit world.

I have been living alone for going on five years, and working for a restaurant for more than four, so it is cost-effective for me to do cooking for one. But just this March the procurement of ingredients has become more problematic. There’s been unbelievable panic-buying at Phoenix-area grocery stores due to the Coronavirus, and I found out when I went shopping today that not only were people buying the shelves bare of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, but gone also were eggs, bread, peanut butter…and RUSSET POTATOES?? And yet, at the Sprouts where I shopped, they had a fully stocked meat section, and plenty of yams. They also had some of my favorite potatoes, those funny-looking little purple ones. I bought a bag of those, a nice 9-ounce sirloin, an outrageously-priced semi-loaf of sourdough bread, about a pound of steel-cut oats, and a half gallon of 1% milk.

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A new sign along the Sprouts aisles told customers that due to the shortages they could not guarantee the quality of the merchandise. So I made sure to hand-scrub the bejabers out of the potatoes. I caught some of the water I’d rinsed them in, and the potato skins had imparted a lovely Virgin-Islands-tidepool blue to the water.

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The water I boiled the potatoes in was a different story, though. Rich forest green.

I thin-sliced half the sirloin just as if I were slicing a tomato. The other half I salted, peppered, and wrapped in aluminum foil for a midday meal tomorrow.  Sautėed my slices in salted butter, ladled the slices on paper towel and then onto the plate, and took this picture after condimenting the meal with butter, sour cream, ketchup, and minced ginger:

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My beverage was a 22-ounce can of Sapporo Premium Beer. I would cheerfully and with great gluttony have cut up the rest of the steak and more potatoes, eating twice as much, but I have a feeling we’ll all be tightening our belts, right soon.