The lovely and gifted Marco Antares would have been Valedictorian but the homophobic shop teacher hated him.

Marco was glad to get an unfair C in Metal-Shop III that made him Salutatorian and promoted the sweet and humble T’Janelle du Bois to Valedictorian.

And in the week before graduation Marco went around saluting everyone,

Especially the shop teacher who gnashed his teeth and fumed.

And on graduation day Marco had his hair done up in an enormous pompadour,

and pompadour plus mortarboard made Marco look quite festive,

and when he strolled up to the podium for his salutatory address to students, the square and tasselled cap atop the shellacked follicular stack bounced merrily,

and Marco grinned at the expectant multitude and said

“Fellow studentry, faculty, staff:

“This will be the shortest salutatory speech in history. I will let my Metal-Shop project do my talking for me. Two snaps!”

With that he snapped his fingers twice and two sizable drones arose from behind him, looking like galvanized-steel floating Cybertrucks, their stereo sound system playing “Ride of the Valkyries” menacingly.

The crowd gasped and the shop teacher cringed.

Then the music cut off, and after a Pee-Wee-Hermanesque giggle an electric version of “Pomp and Circumstance” began to play, and a banner between the drones unfurled, saying

S A L U T E….T H E…R A I N B O W ! ! !

with a glitter-festooned rainbow over the words.

And one of the drones floated above the shop teacher’s head with the banner, and dropped it on him.

And as it flew off the other drone extended a servo arm and delicately grasped Marco’s tassel and switched its sides.

Then it delicately grasped the entire cap, flew over the rows of graduates, and flipped the cap skyward.

Then it flew off like the other one.

There was a huge bang and puff of smoke from the podium, and Marco was gone.

T’Janelle, who had been in on the scheme, gave a stirring speech about Diversity, Equality and Inclusion that brought the house down,

and the students began humming “Ride of the Valkyries” as they marched up to receive their degrees.