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the engineer does not think of her coffee/as “hot”/but rather “cooling”/and not as “coffee”/but as a mixture of water/and ground bean byproduct/and 3ml of dairy extract somewhat denser than whole milk/and an unmeasured squirt of blue agave syrup/with a specific gravity greater than the rest of the mix/that has a certain insolubility such/that her drink will become sweeter with successive swallows/which is exquisite

her bed partner/lacking the background that includes terms like “threshold limits”/and “asymptotic approach”/and “under the metallurgical dome”/and “thevenin equivalent circuit”/and “chi-squared smoothing function”/enjoys HER hot coffee in a different way

hers is a magic vitalizing elixir/an alignment of planets and constellations/yum

the partners are good together/in a way not easily described in words

harmony rules

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Once upon a time there was an unhappy engineering student who was overwhelmed by tough classes and a tumultuous relationship. He decided to step back from the Master’s Degree program in which he was enrolled till he stabilized. Thirty-five years flew by, and somewhere in there the engineering career ship set sail for parts unknown. The End–or not quite. Remnants of his studies still float in his aging brain.  The phrase “tails of the distribution,” first heard during a Probability and Statistics class, bobbed in his conscious thoughts an hour or so ago. The above page was created.

Here’s the horror: In order to tell the REAL Tales of the Distribution, I’d have to go back to school or self-study to refamiliarize myself with 1) polar coordinates 2) Payne’s theorem 3) Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss 4) Chi-squared curve smoothing 5) Use of factorials in permutations and combinations 6) the Central Limit Theorem 7) probability density function calculus 8) n-dimensional space. That prospect is horrific to me. My time is better spent communing with my friends and loved ones, composing acrostic poetry based on wordplay and subject matter I well know, enjoying the local landscape and other scenery, and making that tiny piece of the world within my jurisdiction a better place.

But some day, probably long after I’ve ceased to exist, knowledge will be downloadable directly into the human brain. No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks, just a clean upgrade. For the lucky-or-not folks enjoying such a technological advance, the sky will be the limit, and new, interdisciplinary ways of looking at reality will be made possible. Somewhere in there someone might stumble upon this blog-couched body of work of mine and feel amused contempt. What a moron! she, he or it may think…and that’s the REAL Horror of this Story.

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Today is someone’s birthday. That’s always true; but today is the birthday, not only of my sister-in-law, not only of one of the friendliest residents of the retirement community where I work, but also of the woman who was my high school and college sweetheart. And since the page above, done near the end of the year, refers to her, and I’m thinking of her, now seems a good time to post this page.

Here are the words to the treble acrostic:

Caught in the rectangle seven now wait
One sop on Time couldn’t wait for the eighth
Syllogized vector sums wither inchoate
Inching tangentially wouldn’t you know it
Nillie alongside her Porche wears a bra
Even if doffable next Mardi Gras

It has been more than thirty-five years since I was an engineering student, and the meager knowledge I gathered then, about trigonometric functions and analytic geometry and integral equations and other such arcana, mostly withered. But the language of the mathematics stayed with me as a sort of circumstantial evidence that I am better off manipulating word arrays than differentials. Still, since I never punched through the walls between me-then and a master’s degree in systems and industrial engineering, there’s a dim yearning to get back to it and finish what I started. Alas, life is probably too short for me to do so.