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Tag Archives: Gary Bowers

nocturnal flashmob

March 5, 2025
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this old man once got by/on an average of four hours of sleep per night/but now it is as if he is repaying an insomnia loan/and longer sleeps make for more vivid dreams

two nights ago he and his brothers were on a bus

(one brother in real life had passed on six years ago)

the bus dropped them off at a hotel near a ski resort in colorado/at which they intended to ski/and the deceased brother said/”i’m gonna look around”/and left the lobby/and the other brother was elsewhere as well

the clerk lady had a file on the dreamer/including the laminate from his high school i.d. card/with a faint image of his babyish younger self/and the clerk grinned and said “that’ll be a flat five dollars”/and the dreamer drew a crumpled fiver from his jeans/and pressed it between his hand and the lobby desk/and rubbed until it was as flat as he could get it

the little bell on the front door jingled/and a woman he did not recognize walked in/with a classmate and crony from long ago/and now the dreamer recognized the woman

she’d had some work done/smooth forehead/collagenned and dermabraded face/and buttressed breasts/but forty years ago she’d played him and dumped him/did the same to the classmate too/and now classmate and old flame/were making another go of it

she was flirty with the dreamer but he would have none of it/strode out the door and onto the brittle ice-encrusted snow/leaving stomp-prints in his wake

somehow he was on the roof/finding it vital to crawl lest he slide and fall/down and off the steep-pitched edge

a skier landed near him from above/grinned and “hiya”ed and pivoted/and launched herself off/and the dreamer was sure he knew her/but couldn’t give her a name

somehow he was on the ski lift/and a peruvian young woman was chatting him up/explaining that she loved to ski year round/and half a year hence she’d be back in peru/and here came the dismount point/and she said “chase me”/heading for a black-diamond trail

“no way” thought the dreamer/and slid toward a blue trail/on a burton board he was using for the first time/but it was just like a skateboard/and he deftly threaded through dozens of hesitant newbies/picking up speed/getting cocky/but here came an unavoidable TREE*#*#*

the dreamer gasped awake

uninjured/intensely relieved

and hobbled to the blindingly-lit bathroom/to complete his relief

The Umpire’s New Clothes

March 4, 2025
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Roy McRae was in a fix/Since Roy McRae was in a crash/And his Fiat Spider was burnt to a crisp/Along with his Umpire’s uniform.

His street clothes smoked his time too short/He ducked in a nearby menswear store/And behold a tuxedo fit well. With a snort/He snagged a cab. It began to storm.

He prayed that rain would postpone the game/Alas though the stadium was a dome/And he got there spiffy but wet of hame/And despaired that he didn’t have time to change.

The fans went crazy to see the fella/Unregulatory below the neck/But he said “Play Ball!” though no Cinderella/Felt more out of place, but hey, what the heck.

He called the pitches with delicacy/The batters baffled his voice so soft/The pitchers howling with unfettered glee/The fans as well. And then far aloft

A too-slow pitch was sent to the stands/And near the foul pole it did go/But Roy scratched his cap and threw up his hands/And cried, “Fair or foul? I just don’t know.“

And history, Friends, that day was made/And things will never be quite the same/For Roy McRae made the record book grade/As the first Ump ejected from the game.

.

And the moral of the story is

Clothes make the person

So watch what you wear

Because things may worsen

If you’re too debonair.

app lickable

March 4, 2025
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i syrup my hotcakes with the sap app

cure my constipation with the crap app

get out of jail with the beat the rap app

and enjoy somnolent refreshment

with the nap app.

.

did sammy davis junior need a tap app?

einstein a thinking cap app?

birds lack a flap app

and sexually transmitted diseases thrive

without a clap app.

.

sometimes up the app-strewn road

we’ll ditch simulation

screw like bunny spawn like toad:

old school stimulation.

Just Like in the Movies

March 3, 2025
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Just like in the movies

The camera tracks you as you thread

Your way through foot traffic

To a restaurant entrance

And go in and spot the man

In the bulky brown coat and fedora

Gun at his elbow

.

Cut to a closeup of the man’s face

He is kindly and grizzled

And old enough to be your dad

.

He is exactly old enough to be your dad

Because he is your dad

And you two are following a script

Co-written by the two of you

To show your mom on her birthday

.

You tried to make it Hitchcockean

Because Mom is a Hitchcock fan

And so the gun is a Maguffin

And the script is laced with doom words

Like “fatal” and “enigmatic”

.

The two of you discuss an evil woman

Whose modus operandi is death by kindness

Who is a nefarious genius who must be…

Eliminated? Stopped? Done away with?

.

“The trouble is, I love her,” says the man

“God help me, I love her too,” says the girl

And they break character

Turn to face the rented cinematic drone

And say, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!”

.

It’s exactly like the movies

Because it is a movie

An indie done on a shoestring

And Mom’s going to love it

basket wordweaving

March 2, 2025
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(Source: Wikipedia)

basket wordweaving

.

a nest is a basket of birdies;

a basket for peaches changed histories;

and ella sang in the late thirties

of tiskets and taskets and mysteries.

.

containers of stiff-fibered lattices

hold picnics or handhelds or bread,

while catholic uniforms plaid a sis

who basketless may go unfed.

.

the slangness of basket weaves parity

with genitals, bowlsmoke and bastards,

a versatile twisting of clarity

and provenance dim-distant-pastwards.

.

“so silly”–oh, really? believing

that wordplay and mindflex may yield

new pathways to language beweaving

new verbiage is this poet’s shield.

.

so gather your own stalky fibers

and weave–it is not a big ask,

you may become language macgyvers

and in your own basketing bask.

.

Notes: The early game of Basketball involved a peach basket. Ella Fitzgerald recorded “A-Tisket A-Tasket” in 1938, overriding the objections of her record label, and her career skyrocketed. Baskets come in many different custom, function-related designs. The Urban Dictionary has five pages’ worth of words and phrases involving variations of “basket.” “MacGyver” was a TV series whose main character was famous for improvising solutions to dire situations with unusual materials at hand. And Catholic uniforms got dragged in by the heels simply because of a need for a rhyme with “lattices.”

cranky, aren’t we?

March 1, 2025
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every day comes accelerating proof/that i am or am becoming the cranky old man cliché/i made such cruel fun of in my youngsterhood.

why, just half an hour ago/when a young man lurked by the lobby door/that requires a key fob for entry/and wanted to use me to get in/i said “forgot your fob?”

“why no I don’t”–“you don’t live here??”

with a half-apologetic air he said “my girlfriend is asleep.”

“when i let someone i don’t know in, i feel like i am betraying my fellow residents.”

“I promise I’m not homeless or–“ “grrr. the POINT is not to put me in this position.” and walked away before he answered.

sure. i am not becoming a cranky old man. I am a cranky old man.

but my younger, cruel-fun self ought to be aSHAMED of himself.

pfui.

An American Apology

March 1, 2025
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My country, ’tis of–WHATTTT??!

Are we REALLY demanding an apology

From the President of Ukraine

After trying to shake him down

For half the mineral resources

Of his COUNTRY

In return for our support??

Haven’t we acted in bad faith

By acting like a Mob protection racket

When the real issue,

The crucial issue,

Is STOPPING THE AGGRESSION

Of the Putinistas?

An apology is in order, all right.

But since it is unlikely to come

From a pair of bullyboy draft-dodgers,

It will come from me.

I, Gary Bowers, Citizen

Of the United States of America,

Apologize on behalf of my wayward country

For unfair stances taken and acts performed

Since late January of this year, including,

But not limited to,

Our in-progress betrayal of Ukraine

And our NATO allies

For the sake of appeasing

The rapacious, murderous despot,

Vladimir Putin,

And his minions and ilk.

I acknowledge that the agenda

Of America’s current leaders

Is beyond shameful.

I pray that the United States of America

Of 2025

Does not sink further into its descent

Into unmistakable similarity

To Third Reich Germany

Of the 20th Century.

Sincerely,

Gary Bowers

Citizen of the United States of America

icecutter

February 28, 2025
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the parabolic microphone/follows the blades of the skater/and gives the audience the sounds/of butchery and pandemonium

when the skater becomes airborne there is a flash of silence

but the sounds resume with a swoosh and a skkkkksh/and a stabstabstab/as the skater picks up speed

blessed silence

slotcar madness/kishkishkishkishkish/the shaved-icemaker sound of the final spin/scrapestop

a beat of silence

a mountain of riotous applause

Buy Golly

February 28, 2025
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Buy all the Golly that you want,

It only costs a Hum.

Buy Gosh, buy Jove, and preen and flaunt,

But please do not buy Gum.

Don’t buy from Target, Mickey Dee’s,

Nor Wal-Mart. You can shop

To heart’s content, and Jesus please,

At stores of Mom and Pop.

Today we flex consumer muscle

And howl like baying bassets

To stop the Greed Beasts in mid-hustle

And kick them in the Assets.

.

Historical note: Today, February 28, 2025, is a day of boycotting protests. All who wish to make a tangible statement about the unfair distribution of wealth are urged not to spend any money anywhere but at minority and/or locally owned “Mom&PIP” establishments. Vote with your Pocketbooks, Friends!!

sidewalk shenanigans

February 27, 2025
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scooters, skateboards, cardboard-signers,

motorized devices,

would have had sidewalk designers

smoking herbs and spices.

mere pedestrians are weaving

here and there whilst cringing

trick bikes bounce and disbelieving

walkers risk unhinging.

let’s make future sidewalks wider.

two lanes? now we’re talking.

stiff fines for the non-abider:

SLOW LANE — NO NON-WALKING.