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Woman of My Dreams

The Fate that Oversees things deals a card

Which wafts upon the breeze to you afar

Of suddenness of froth of filigree

Mad hopes compel a voyage out to sea

And bring you merriment with love’s sly charm

Now Aye & Thou–Yes!! HOPE! & that Disarms

Note: This week I asked the woman pictured, Donna Sue Atkins, if she would marry me. She said Yes.

Also: Donna Sue and I are old-school Hippies at heart. The classic Peace sign, faintly depicted at upper left, is said to be a meld of the semaphore letters D and N, to symbolize Disarmament Now. We believe that worldwide Disarmament would be a giant leap toward a sustainable civilization. So please, dear readers, think of the last word in the poem, Disarms, as having a double meaning.

alarm! alarm! and out of a bent sleep the traveler jolts

shuffles to the bathroom while the blear clears

takes the set aside pills flosses brushes shaves

peels t-shirt over his head and off into the hamper

pulls baggy underwear to knees and draws knees together for the underwear to fall to the floor

grabs underwear with toes and drops them into the hamper

steps past the bathroom mirror with an “ugh!” and carefully steps over the bathtub edge and pulls the shower curtain closed and positions his head to shield his body from the initially-cold spray and pulls the faucet lever counterclockwise and pulls the switch-to-shower knob up and cold spray hits his head with a bit of over spray on his belly and he gasp-inhales a little

but the water quickly pleasantly warms and he squeezes shampoo onto his hand and smears it onto his head

then ivory-soaps his body with special attention to armpits genitals and feet (careful! use the corner for support! de-soap left foot then press sole-water firmly away before switching feet!!) and rinses and sways and rinses and lifts and rinses

turns shower off pushes knob down (it sticks) pulls curtain aside and carefully reaches for bath towel and flips towel like a jumprope and unmoistens back and sides and then carefully dries one leg foot perched on bathtub edge and then the other

then (carefully!! delicately!!) lowers a foot onto the bath mat with one hand on toilet-tank lid and the other on the wall

breathes a relief-sigh and steps out of the tub and combs hair dresses grabs backpack locks up goes to lobby calls a lyft cab arrives at airport obtains boarding passes at self-service kiosk walks to security checkpoint hands identification and passes to bluesuited agent places belt and pocket contents in gray bin steps into examination chamber forming the “a” of “ymca” is waved forward repockets rebelts finds the gate..

and here we are!

In the style of Ogden Nash, beloved poet of whimsy

Investigation of a bachelor’s refrigerator is akin to a visit to a Museum of Natural History,

Usually involving mustiness and baffling miscellany and gritty realism and a dollop of mystery,

But nobody will be there to adhere a visitor’s badge on us,

Nor will a docent explain that after some months of benign neglect, the contents of a bag of carrots become mucilaginous,

And since the mission is to clean and to come out as unscathed as possible it behooves us the custodian to arm ourself with scrubbies and a dish-soaped rag and an otherwise-never-used department store credit card for that which is excessively sticky,

And possibly an exorcist for that which is downright icky,

and which finds its way to the bottommost nook, cranny and cavity

Via the elegant mechanism of gravity.

A sizable, sturdy garbage bag will serve, Ladies and Mates,

To contain the many items that have passed by as much as a year their “Best Served By” dates.

The hours invested in this enterprise cannot exactly be called fun,

But darn if there isn’t a slight elation when it is finally done,

And we will be made even more glad

When we crack open the untouched bottle of vodka we forgot we had.

Loosely based on a true event

chicken chakra choker check

c h k is rife as heck

and among the heys and watch-mes

you might even find some tchotchkes.

chalk it up to odd occurrence

twixt agreement and demurrance

even when you kick the bucket

“chk!” may throatnoise when you chuck it.

that is all quite well and morbid

thirty wanted twenty-four bid

let us close with holstered trowels

“sm lst wrds my hv n vwls.”

Afterword: smh! 🙂 But the real goal was to use “tchotchkes” (first time ever in one of my poems) such that it contained an “Easter egg.”

Once upon a time a clumsy man dropped one of the many books he, foolish with optimism, was carrying, and when he bent his legs to try to retrieve it, two books, and then the rest of them, cascaded to the cobblestones. “Gosh darn,” said he, and, kneeling, began to restack them.

“Here,” said a voice. He looked up and saw a woman about his age, with one of the books that had slid afield. Her eyes were round and brown. Her hair was diaphanous.

When he took the book out of her hand she turned to retrieve the ones that were still left on the stones, but instead of handing them to him, she cradled them in her arms, schoolgirl style. “Where to?” she said, lightly, honey in her voice.

He did a head gesture, indicating direction, and said, “I’m parked a few rows up. Thanks so much for helping me.”

At his car, he carefully put his books on the hood, fished his car keys from his pocket, and opened the passenger-side door. She handed him the books she had, patting the one on top and saying, “I think you will love this one.” When she smiled at him he was awestruck. Without a word they had told each other that though she could use a ride, and he would love to give her one, it was not the right time.

But when he closed the door on the passenger side with the books in a neat pile on the seat, she handed him a business card that had the name of the bookstore where he’d bought the books, her name, the word M A N A G E R, and a phone number and e-mail address.

“Thanks for buying some of my books,” she said, a hint of laughter in her voice. “See you soon.” And she walked briskly away.

In the commissary where I work, one priority is Speed. The restaurants want their prepared food, and they want it pronto. They will take Pretty Fast over Pretty every time.

This page is like that. I just had to get it done, and polishing it up would have cost me hours. Other pages will demand finesse; this one does not.

If Need Be

In a tough entangling web

It’s a time when your hopes ebb

Fear and hopelessness presage

Finding rescue–Draw that page

..

This Time

Take a number mon petit

Halve it with your bread and ghi

Infinitely numbers teem

Setting pace and mood and theme

..

Lean On Me

Let’s help each other grow and bloom

Engaging in opposing doom

And new horizons come to be

No nastiness that we can see

..

In the word balloons:

He: We NEED this…

She: …and it is Nice.

She: Tea & Ghi time!

He: …the Tripod…

She: …is mightier than the Stick.

He: Now let’s go…

She: .walking uphill…

They: …into the glorious sunset.

Sun: Crazy kids!

on a mission to live life to the fullest

this morning anyway

i walked 2,379 steps from my doorstep

to the ole brass rail, a sports bar and grill

and asked bar lady kristi[e] for an irish coffee

and a menu

..

the steak & eggs was tempting

but the breakfast burrito was six dollars less

and promised “spicy beef” so

breakfast burrito it was

and nice trimmings to boot

and i was fulled and filled with its generous portion

..

lots of screens with sports stuff

diverse & friendly staff and clientele

(times have changed here, i am glad to report)

fair pricing

so yeah

this day off is well launched

and i will go full from here

to fuller after a ceramics studio session

to fullest when i use my phone

and hear sweet Donna’s voice