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When I was eleven years old/A sixth-grade student at a middle school called Unit VI/My homeroom teacher was Mrs. Virginia Holmberg

She was strict and forbidding/But an early pioneer of behavior modification/Incentivizing as she did/A perfect week of spelling scores/with the reward of a candy bar

And she read us an exciting Horatio Alger story once with each chapter ending in a bad-luck cliffhanger

But she also heaped out scorn in quantity/Shaming a kid who’d written his name on his desk top with//”Fools’ names and Fools’ faces/Are often seen in public places.”

So one fateful day she was talking about how breathtaking the sight of Halley’s Comet was…

And I, the runny-nosed know-it-all, the smallest kid in the class, saw a delightful opportunity…

And my hand shot up and Mrs. Holmberg nodded and me and said, “Yes?”…

And I said, “Mrs. Holmberg, wasn’t the last time Halley’s Comet came close to Earth…in 1910??”

Many class members gasped/In astonishment/at the revelation of how OLD Mrs. Holmberg must be/And I could swear she blushed/But then a little self-deprecating smile came to her face/And she said, “Why, yes. But I was only a little girl then.”

And that moment revealed Mrs. Holmberg to me

As a little girl still.

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The house on Krall Street inhabited by my unique friend Martin Klass (see Foom-Bozzle-Wozzle parts 1 and 2) is nestled in diverse overgrowth of bucketed flowers, crawling vines, and trees. Marty is a horticulturist and a hoarder, so much so that the City has issued him at least one citation, and not the good kind, either.

Yesterday I made my public-transport way to Marty’s place, and found to my mild dismay that a ceramic vase, which I had made and either given to Marty or had it dumpster-dived by him when I cleaned out my former workshop after my amicable divorce with the very nice small-town Minnesota gal Joni née Froehling, was in one of Marty’s flower-buckets, toppled over. I grabbed the vase and tried to open the screen door of the house, but it was strangely stuck. “HELLO…”

“Bongo!” replied Martin son of Max & Betty. (He calls me Gary infrequently. “Bongo,” “Ca’Bear,” and “Bernanke” are more frequent forms of address.) “Jussaminit!”

Inside his enslovened abode, I brandished the vase, told him how I’d found it, and accused him of neglect. He nodded in agreement and assured me that many other works of my creation on his property were being neglected, and that some in his back yard had been destroyed in storms. (I knew that already and it didn’t bother me–a lot of what Marty had were “factory seconds” of mine, unsuitable as showpieces. Prolificity’s downside is also its upside.)

I had a proposition for Marty, spawned when I picked up my vase. I was there to pick up the bird sculpture that had been rejected by Bruce Cody, the juror of the Glendale Arts Council’s 57th annual Juried Show. But I would rather have the vase, made by me on the 19th of May 2003 and having a suggestion of hard-to-capture antiquity, of ancient days, about it, than the rejected bird, made recently, which I could easily replicate in a couple of hours spread out over a couple of bisquing/glazing weeks. How about a trade?

Marty instantly agreed, and also agreed to pose for a photo illustrative of the trade:

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I left soon after, but before I left I said, “You’re my best friend,” perhaps quoting Jessica Tandy as Miss Daisy, or perhaps telling him a simple truth.

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Today in the mail came the news that one of my entries for the 57th annual Glendale arts Council Juried Fine Arts Competition was selected for inclusion in the show.

My delight at being included is made more savory by the fact that this acceptance makes SIX consecutive decades that I’ve gotten in at least one year. Way back in 1975, when I was an art student at the University of Arizona, my artwork was included in the show for the first time. Kept plugging away during the 80s, 90s, 00s, and 10s, with an acceptance/rejection rate of maybe 60% or so for the years I entered. Some years I struck out completely. One year I went 3 for 3.

I grew up in Glendale, Arizona so I try to enter the show when feasible, being a loyal son of Glendale.

The birds above were not entered, but were made along with the entries (also clay sculptures of birds) in the same “Beyond Basic Wheel Throwing” class I’ve been taking at the Thunderbird Center for the Arts, instructed by master potter Jon Higuchi. If you want to see the bird that is in the show, please make your way to the Fruit Packing Plant at Sahuaro Ranch Park, just north of Glendale Community College. A display of all entries will be there January 11th and 12th, and the pieces in the Juried Show will be available to view from the 14th through the 26th, 10AM to 5PM. Stay tuned for a future post of the show itself, Friends!

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I grew up in Glendale, Arizona. During my entire childhood I only went to church, any church, about a dozen times. Yet the Southwestern American ambiance filled my head with certain Christian-based religious notions, including that of angels and devils. I regret not being a sufficient world citizen to be as familiar with other beliefs. I’d love to be able to do an equivalent of the above page with, say, ringing-true Hindu archetypes, for instance. We’re all stuck with our upbringings, even if we renounce the ideas behind them.

In the illustration accompanying the poem, Mister Devil is poking at Mister Angel with his trident and tauntingly asking, “Who’s your DADDY?” Mister Angel replies, “Well, I’ll be Damned–YOU are.” My notion is that Lucifer, eons ago, sowed some wild ectoplasm; further, celestial beings can access all their eons-long memory perfectly, but there may be a bit of lag time. So Mister Angel cast his memory back to when he was an angel-pup and found that the Devil himself had sired him.

If you think that’s far-fetched, it’s not even close to the weirdest of the “facts” about angels and devils. Just ask Jacob, first member of the WWF–or was it his opponent?

Here are the words:

BAD-MOUTHING is Alive–indeed a
Euphemism NEEDS a feeder
DRAINAGE dries a cul-de-sac
Emptiness lacks Bacharach
Visiting the pic’d Corrida
Ink and haemoglobin lead-in
Leave your heart at home if bleeding
Emphasis beyond the pale
Douses HOPE; delivers NAIL

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I was graduated from Glendale High School deep in a previous century, but I still remember the fight song (“Fight on, Cards, for dear old Glendale/We know you will not fail/Show [other team] what we’re here for/And make them sad and sore…” On reflection, a bit mean-spirited, eh?). I only remember the first two lines of the Alma Mater, which smacked suspiciously of “O Little Town of Bethlehem”: “All praise to thee, O Glendale High/To you our voices raise…”

About three and a half weeks ago I had a blog entry featuring a quick sketch of me and some of my classmates. It went over well, especially with my classmates, one of whom encouraged me to do more; so this is more.

Last time I identified everyone, This time we’ll see who knows who, although I did identify one of us…

Here are the words to the triple acrostic:

Good Gosh, I had great fun indeed
Lost time regained & guaranteed–a
Eucharist gives one stray soul
Not blandishments but odd parole

At Glendale High School, in Glendale, Arizona, the band of choice for the Friday dance was The Factory, Their drum kit was painted psychedelicately, and looked great under black light. Their cover of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” (Vanilla Fudge style, not Supremes style) was, no lie, EPIC.

And it still is, more than forty years later! Listening to them at the Glendale 100-year reunion, in December of 2011, was like a trip in the Way-Back Machine.

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