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Life was fleeting fun and fudgy/Then you die and things get judgy/Sins remembered fry your bacon/Taken shaken Godforsaken.

“There’s No Hope” is what the door meant/Here comes Santa bearing torment/Flame and tiny demons jabbing/In your ear Aunt Esther gabbing.

You’re repentant you’re remorseful/But the horse crap by the horseful/Buries you in flaming poo/Not a damned thing you can do.

Then the heavens part and smoke/Makes things disappear. “A joke!”/God Herself declaimed, and laughed. “You’ve been pranked! Spanked! Punk’d! Giraffed!

“Hell is but a vicious rumor/Scripture satire! Doom with humor!/Boogeyman in chaptered verses/Spicing Blessings up with Curses.”

Then God’s browline lightly knit./”As for heaven, He-She-It,/You may find it, you may not,/That depends on what you’ve got.

“Use your Viewpoint. Watch and learn./Use your Wisdom. Think; discern./Be an Angel, not a Creep. Dream without the need for sleep.”

God began to dim and fade./”Find yourselves and interbraid./Right some wrongs. Unbotch some botching./Love as if your friends are watching.”

God was gone. In space, adrift,/This new Angel-Ghost made shift/A satellite, then speeding dart/To Earth, to guard, to watch, to  [heart].

Today I’m going to a birthday pot luck for my poet friend Julie Elefante. I decided to write a sonnet dedicated to her. I thought that would be a good birthday present because, regardless of the quality of the sonnet, it would represent an expenditure of at least an hour of my life, which Julie is certainly worth, and more. But I had a little change left out of that hour, so I illustrated/calligraphed the last line of the sonnet.

god’s on it/godsonnet

to Julie Elefante

when god beheld the universe she’d wrought
it talked to her in many-colored voices,
it cheered and whined and folded want with lot,
and asked advice regarding need and choices.

then god, whilst folding towels and wreaking mayhem,
administered a word to undeservers.
the word was when, referring not to a.m.
but to creation’s dawn, its queues and servers.

then followed who and where, addressed to prey-ers,
who guaranteed a heated destination
with ‘prayer’ that preys on truth and mutes its sayers,
and god said why, and tried another station.

one final concept bubbled up to be
and god said what and proved her deity.

godsonnet2

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A few days ago I read a heartbreaking article in Reader’s Digest about Jude Deveraux, best-selling novelist, being taken for approximately $17 million by a predatory monster who claimed to be a psychic. Years before, I’d seen an infomercial for Dionne Warwick’s “Psychic Friends,” and noticed the disclaimer at the bottom For Entertainment Purposes Only or somesuch.

Now, I don’t call myself an atheist or an agnostic, but my tendency is heavily toward skepticism; even so, I LITERALLY don’t know what to believe. I ardently hope there is more to the Universe than random purposelessness. Being a sentient being with a mind and what amounts to free will, I am free to decide what makes sense, and what my own reason for living is–subject to change, of course. Consequently, I will find myself at night looking at the inside of my closed eyelids and seeking answers from beyond my insignificant self. I’m sure almost all of us have asked: What’s my next move? How do I handle THIS major issue? And one overwhelming question, which comes in many forms: What’s wrong with this picture, and what needs to happen to make it unwrong?

When we ask these questions, and dream on them, and hope for an answer to come to us in the form of a thought popping into our heads unbidden, or other sign from outside ourselves, we are being our own psychics. I am positive that Jude Deveraux would have been much the much better off if she had been her own psychic. The trouble was, she was insecure; she didn’t trust that she’d come up with good answers on her own.

So now, let’s walk through it: If we’re going to be our own psychics, how are we going to be the best psychics we can be? Here’s what I’ve come up with, but I am 100% sure that you who read will come up with something that suits YOU, and YOUR circumstances, better.

1. Learn what you REALLY want out of life. Do you really want to be a millionaire? Do you want to be suspicious of someone you don’t know wanting to be your friend? Do you want constant demands on your time and your money by people who think they know better than you do what to do with your time and your money? (By the way, your time is of equal or greater value than your money; I’ll try not to waste yours here.)

2. Formulate five questions you’d like God, or Nature, or the Cosmos, or Whoever, to answer. Here are mine:

What is the best use of my time, today, this week, this month, and this year?
Who in the world do I most need to learn from?
What do I not know that I need to know?
How much lifetime do I have left?
What is making my life more tragic, what makes it more joyful, and what can I do about this?

These are kind of fudgy questions in that there are subquestions in some of them. But my important question list is subject to change, especially if I learn something new (and I’m bound to) or my circumstances change. The thing is to keep asking these questions, and keep looking for the answers both actively (“Time to go to the gym and put another brick in the Life Extension Wall”) and passively. (“Hey, look at that! There’s my answer right there!”)

3. Beware the easy answer. It is tempting to, seeing a rainbow, infer that God or the Universe is trying to tell you something. But a rainbow is merely the organization of visible light at certain frequencies via its refraction in a myriad of water droplets. You can have a rainbow any time you want one if you have a sunny day and a garden hose; just use your thumb and turn until the angle is right. But if you get a burning bush, or gigantic text carved out of a mountain before your very eyes, I’d pay attention–BUT I’D STILL QUESTION THE MESSAGE. Try the answers you get out on your intuition, and do your best not to inject your own wishful thinking.

4. Live for more than yourself. When you do that, your psychic connection has more than you to answer to, and will consequently give you (and yours) a clearer picture.

Essay/Lecture over. That’ll be Zero Dollars and Zero Cents please. [smiles]

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Here are the words:

Most life events are humdrum–hardly gracing
And some are harrowing, and some debracing

God’s fans included Sandro Botticelli
No prob–IF “He” made Laura Antonelli

If not–if GOD is naught*–a synæsthesia
False-colors all perceivings; & amnesia

Yin-overloads our lives & drives a stasis
Infecting vectored acts with dreamworld basis

Nor is “AYE” unsusceptible, in this
God knows (or *{}) that much “I” see’s amiss

What does it mean? There is a clue in the emphasis of the IF in the word Magnifying. Agnostics of my bent don’t claim to have any more handle on the Truth than anyone else (except, perhaps, the Texas Board of Education, he said with a wry smile). The Universe is mind-boggling enough to provide endless mystery. One simple either/or is: Either Reality has popped on and off eternally, or there was an ultimate starting point (and I don’t mean THE Big Bang; I mean a First Big Bang). And things like magnifying glasses, falsecolor telescopy, and sunsets present different realities of the same scrutinized item. Remember Claude Monet’s different paintings of Reims Cathedral at different times of day? The same brick and mortar can evoke endlessly different moods.

Anyone else want to play?

As I did a couple of days ago, I again present a work in progress. This one is simpler. The symbol in the middle is an ampersand; so the triple acrostic is “Leave & Learn.”Image