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she was older than i

and it was long ago that we loved. news

of her peaceful death unlocked a room

and in the room was a bed

and in the bed were our younger selves

enjoying each other as if there

were no tomorrows.

i can’t look at them

but i can hear them in their in-betweens,

with hearing so acute

i can hear fingers stroking hair,

fingertips sliding down sweat-sheened flanks.

.

so many tomorrows later

i don’t have tears

and the grief is a soft whisper

of acknowledgment.

.

leaving the room

i wonder about new loves, if any

with an odd optimism

but also the pang

that comes with the knowledge

that with my passing

passion ends.


chickens
to Susan Vespoli

there is a place to stroll in my neighborhood
that i think of as the Chicken District
simply because chickens abound
and stroll like i do. once

a lady was leading a troupe of chicks
to safety off the asphalt of Earll Drive
and i called from down the street
“aha! NOW i know why
The Chicken Crossed The Road!” and she laughed
and declared herself the Crazy Chicken Lady.

today was another saunter in the District
but then in a group of four
i saw a specimen with some feathers
that were the strawberry blonde
described by my poet friend Susan V
in her heartstopping poem “Chicken”
that was really about her son
and the processing of her anxiety and grief
about him–
a golden hen magically appeared
and then disappeared
but the reader must decide
if the bird was real
or manifested by a grieving mother
to step down the high voltage
of her helplessness
in watching her son’s life
take its
tragic
turns.

when i saw that strawberry blonde
my friend and her poem magically popped
into my suddenly unlulled thoughts
and it became not a coincidence
but a needed component of life on earth
that Tragic
and Magic
rhyme.

chickens
cross roads
lay eggs
become fricasseed
pick out dough in breadpans
peck and scratch and look askance
and reveal glory and downfall
and the bond
that shared grief
creates.

Afterword: Susan’s poem “Chicken” may be found in her outstanding collection Blame It on the Serpent, available via Amazon.

A week ago my dear and wonderful friend of more than twenty-four years, Karen Wilkinson, was alive and well. Friday she was stricken and felled by a brain aneurysm. Monday they removed life support and, I infer, harvested what organs of hers they could use.

While she was still not technically dead, I tried feebly to do creative things. Here’s what I did on Sunday the 4th:

001 002

The would-be poem seems finished but is not. After Karen died, I tried again, and wrote what I intend to read at the Caffeine Corridor poetry event tomorrow night:

fiddle away over and out

there was this girl in a jeans skirt in the spring of 1990
librarian glasses and face and demeanor like talia shire in rocky
but with a violin that spoke for her
boldly stepping into the sound of the livingroom band she’d just joined
and the girl and her fiddle turned three needy guitars into contrapuntal gold
at times trumping them with platinum

years later “roller derby queen” by jim croce reached new heights
when during the instrumental the sound crescendoed
and the fiddle did a trick of stringzipping into the stratosphere
followed by a beat of complete and magic silence
followed by the resumption of the raucous rollicking sound

the girl and her fiddle went with her piano-playing pal to jazz camp
and they grinned and grinned on their return

elsewhere in 2007
much of the band went to a cabin near grand lake colorado
played and played and sang and danced and snored and hiked and played and played
the promised moose never showed but the music flowed and made all all right
and the fiddler bent and swayed with that music and folded her excellence into it

her face focused transcendence
her rosined bow a dervish

sometimes she’d take the fiddle away from her chin and sing
because she wanted to hold voice-hands with the rest of us

and through a miracle of wishful thinking and overdub
i hear her voice and fiddle now together