I am Gary. Harrison Ford is Indy, for obvious cinematic reasons. And Eleanor Roosevelt is Anna, for that was her real first name.

And “Gary, Indiana” is a song and a town. I wonder if other Garys react to the song with the same revulsion I do. As for the town, for the longest time it was an exemplar of how not to deal with industrial waste.

So this page with its whimsical acrostic is an attempt at alchemization. It is a Sweetener and a Lightnesser, if and only if I did the job I set out to do.

Here are the words to the triple acrostic, trochaic quadrameter, ABBA rhyme scheme and all:

Gary Indy Anna

Ginseng chives and belladonna

Aromatics snail on down

Random dips dissolve a frown

Yester-year’s Americana