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fyb

first you burst
from the pudendal starting gate
or were pulled into the world
by modified salad tongs
or you were sprung from amniotic limbo
via incision and extraction
(“hey, rock! watch me pull a rabbit
out of my hat!” “again?!”)
or even
as urban legend has it
you were launched by a mom
about to be t-boned by a mac truck
through the window of the doomed car
onto the soft grass
on the side of the road.

it was your birth.
you came from the there of maybe and hope
into the here of the sensate.
you have Now-What?ed your way
through a most improbable journey.

and now you have the grace and leisure
to read a few words about beginnings
from a friend.

thank you for ending up here
and now
with me,
my friend.

that’s all
but only for now.

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Sunday was a marvelous Birthday Pot Luck at the home of the Birthday Girl herself, Julie Elefante, and her Hun, Robert Lee. There was a literal Poet’s Corner where I sat next to the Funniest Man on Earth, Bill Campana, and across from the weirdnormal, staggeringly incisive Patrick Hare.

About five years ago I self-published LIVES of the Eminent Poets of Greater Phoenix, Arizona, Volume I. Eighteen local poets were portraitized and acrosticized by me. (Julie was one of them.) Not long after that I asked Patrick if he’d be willing for me to do a Patrick Hare page. He either graciously or grudgingly agreed–hard to tell sometimes. (I kid.) Then years passed, and I kind of fell off the Volume II rails, though I’d done more portraits than I had in Volume I. (Layout and finishing are lethal stressors, said the Drama Queen.) But when I saw Patrick at Julie’s, I asked him again, and he was kind enough not only to assent, but also to send me a link to his incongruous/hilarious nature videos, overvoiced by him reciting his poetry. (The link is http://www.Youtube.com/incognitocorp and I recommend the “Checkout Charity” vid for those new to Patrick’s performance poetry.)

The card of him above is what is known in the biz as a “concept rough,” containing the idea of an image without much care to the execution thereof. The card not of him is a poem I wrote this morning after I took the bus. It is also rough, but I needed something to perform at Jake Friedman’s UPTOWN P.E.N. event.

Got more to say but it’s late. This whole POST is a Concept Rough . . .

Friends, a modern education is a slippery thing. There is less correlation between Knowledge and Credentials than when I strolled the campus of the University of Arizona, lo these 40-or-so years ago. Modern technology enables virtual attendance, making it unnecessary to meet anyone in a class, including the professor, if any. Where it will lead, I hope, is a gentle revolution resulting in academic freedom, including zero cost for the sincere seekers of usable Truth.

academic

A SHEEPSKIN when you pass the tests
Cannot prevent a bod at rest.
And though you play a fine sonata
Don’t quit yer day job ‘less you gotta.
Employments sucks just like some vermin
Enjoyment’s there–just be determined.
May A C A D E M I A
Inclined/To chew our
Cud MAKE UP ITS MIND.

Finally, a very Happy Birthday to the lovely and talented Denise Huntington, former Sweetheart and fellow Index Card A Day participant. We parted ways a good five months ago, but I hold her in the highest esteem, and I am sure I always will. Hope your day is Fun, dear Denise!

Dick Van Dyke idolized Stan Laurel. They met in the early sixties. Stan declined to be on The Dick Van Dyke Show but watched the episode wherein Van Dyke impersonated him. He later told Van Dyke that it was the best impersonation of him he’d ever seen, but there were a few things he noticed. In the movies, Stan Laurel used paper clips as cuff links. He took the heels off his shoes to alter his walk. And “The hat was a little off.”

“I knew it. Yours and Ollie’s had flat brims. Mine curled slightly. I tried to find one like yours. I even tried ironing the brim on my derby.”

Stan Laurel laughed gently and said, “Young man, why didn’t you just ask me? You could have used mine.”

That’s the kind of guys they were.

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PS: I learned all this today while I was reading Dick Van Dyke: My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business by Dick Van Dyke. My Steady Girl, Joy, owns the book and has graciously lent it to me. It’s a good read, the more so because the writing seems to be pure, unedited Dick Van Dyke, except, of course, for the Foreword by Carl Reiner.

dance 062315

The Beatles made a lot of great love music–“Here, There and Everywhere,” “I Will,” “Something,” “I Need You,” and “And I Love Her” spring immediately to mind–but this one has a special place in my heart, which shows you what a sentimental sap I can be. So be it!