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Tag Archives: irony
Warp Wrap
The English language is dynamic, and some words and idiomatic phrases enjoy usage for which almost all English speakers have forgotten origins and even meanings. The phrase “sticks in my craw” means more to farmers and ornithologists than it does to millennials.
When I was thinking along these lines, somehow the acrostic “warp wrap” came to mind. “Warp” means both Distortion and Parallel Threads In Fabric (sort of), and “Wrap” means both Enshroud and Conclude.
We have the word Asea. Why not Aland? Because the English language is large, it contains multitudes, and so it has a way of Whitmanesquedly contradicting itself. It is a citizen in the Quantum Universe, which also contradicts itself, of necessity for existence.
The spot illustrations for this page border on the wretched. The worst is the “Top Drawer” illustration, with which I attempted to do a visual Bad Pun by sticking it in the word Craw. I tried to make it work, but it seems too distractive for the payoff.
Warp Wrap
What IS a craw?
And WHAT is [so desirable about] TOP DRAWER?
RAW sewage or COOKED? ASEA
Precludes ALAND’s GDP.
GDP is economese for Gross Domestic Product. It is a benchmark of how well a given land is doing. Sewage is one of the grosser domestic products. English is large; it contains multitudes. Why do we not wish to have our geese cooked?
Strop Topic Optic Sport
As I type, it’s early Saturday morning, and third-round action of the 2013 Masters tournament has not yet begun. Presently, Tiger Woods is three under, tying him for 7th place. Everyone is focused on him for several reasons, among them 1) he’s been playing phenomenal golf lately, winning his most recent tournament, the Arnold Palmer Invitational, for which he (or, more accurately, his team) received more than a million dollars, plus a big emotional hug from Arnie (not his team–just him); 2) his recent reattainment of his #1 world ranking represents a years-long struggle in the wake of his marriage-ending contretemps with his now-former wife, Elin Nordegren, whose marriage settlement according to the New York Daily News was in excess of one hundred ten million dollars; 3) a shot to the green Mr. Woods made on the 15th hole yesterday was so good, it hit the flagstick, and then richocheted squarely backward, ending up in a pond and changing a probable birdie to a bogie–a bogie that could have been much worse but for incredible skill on the part of Mr. Woods.
If you’re not familiar with golf, much of the above is gibberish. Since Gibberish is the clandestine topic of this post, it’s appropriate that I dish out some.
Why Gibberish? Because Golf IS Gibberish, metaphorically speaking. It is a game in which a carefully-crafted ball is hammered repeatedly by carefully-crafted sticks wielded by imperfectly-crafted human beings, who strive, following rules that are convoluted beyond belief, to eventually roll the ball into eighteen different holes. A substantial portion of the world’s wealth is affected by this activity, directly or indirectly. Migration patterns and habitat changes are directly attributable to its environs. It is one awe-inspiring work of performance art that I would entitle THE ABSURDITY OF HUMAN BEINGS IN THE PERVERSION OF THEIR DRIVES, since even at my most serious I cannot resist a pun.
If there’s anyone still reading, thanks so much for your attention. Here are the words to the quadruple, two-pairs-of-allotropic-words acrostic:
Surf, silliness, & Realtors rake in the megabucks
To climb & claw atop a peak with Taurus near a cusp
Respondents take a helicopter canyon to arroyo
Or jet on to Hawaii for the LPBA tour
Persnickety flaccidity persists; now back to Curt
RIP Curt Gowdy, for whom I had both respect and (misplaced; I was young) amused contempt.
One with Clay, Image and Text 