When I was eleven years old/A sixth-grade student at a middle school called Unit VI/My homeroom teacher was Mrs. Virginia Holmberg
She was strict and forbidding/But an early pioneer of behavior modification/Incentivizing as she did/A perfect week of spelling scores/with the reward of a candy bar
And she read us an exciting Horatio Alger story once with each chapter ending in a bad-luck cliffhanger
But she also heaped out scorn in quantity/Shaming a kid who’d written his name on his desk top with//”Fools’ names and Fools’ faces/Are often seen in public places.”
So one fateful day she was talking about how breathtaking the sight of Halley’s Comet was…
And I, the runny-nosed know-it-all, the smallest kid in the class, saw a delightful opportunity…
And my hand shot up and Mrs. Holmberg nodded and me and said, “Yes?”…
And I said, “Mrs. Holmberg, wasn’t the last time Halley’s Comet came close to Earth…in 1910??”
Many class members gasped/In astonishment/at the revelation of how OLD Mrs. Holmberg must be/And I could swear she blushed/But then a little self-deprecating smile came to her face/And she said, “Why, yes. But I was only a little girl then.”
fifty-eight years ago today/I was in an operating room at st. joseph’s hospital/with a doctor reaching into my nose/and excising with his instrument/a gaggle of nasal polyps/of various sizes
then the doc jammed a yard/of packing material into my nasal cavity/to staunch bleeding
and the removal of that packing/produced the most intense pain i have ever felt/to this day
and second place goes/to when dr. frerichs in a subsequent visit/again reached into my nose/to pluck out developing scabs/to minimize scar tissue
and a distant third is the time/i tore off most of the skin of my left big toe/in a bike accident/when i was barefoot
but back to that scar tissue/minimized or not it and more polyps/have appeared in two mris/done five years apart/in my right sphenoid sinus
and that that region is unchanged/in five years/is great news
and I love the word “sphenoid”/so i am overall good/with my nose now
a long time ago i was a ten-year-old kid and i was going to new york with my family in a t w a airplane and we were going to spend a few days on the island of manhattan
and i had a next-door neighbor friend named david hilyard or it might have been hillyard and we hung out together a lot and i told him about the trip and in a combination of bigshot-itis and a genuine wish to somehow have him enjoy the trip too i told him i would buy him a souvenir
next thing you know there i was at the u n building which looked like a giant glassy cereal box and in the gift shop they had a ballpoint pen with the u n insignia on it
and i bought it for david but here’s the thing i never gave it to him
and in fact i avoided him all the way up to when he and his family moved away
and though i don’t know exactly why i betrayed him that way I do know it wasn’t because i wanted to keep the pen
my guess is i was messed up psychologically and there was a weird mental membrane blocking me and not only did i betray david but also the self i could have been had i more gumption
so I now unburden myself s little by saying i’m sorry not only to david wherever he is
Once upon a time there were these two guys, Jeff and Gary, who worked for a safety equipment company run by Gary’s dad, and sometimes after work or at lunch Jeff would break out his guitar and a few songbooks
And they would sing Beatles songs or Tom Petty or Bob Welch or The Who or some of Jeff’s original songs or Jeff’s brother Danny’s stuff (“Cord Whippin Mama” was a real saga)
And then one day in 1983 Jeff suggested that Gary buy a guitar and a little Gorilla amp
And he did and some more songbooks too like Great Songs of the 60s and Jackson Browne and another bigger Beatles book and Bob Dylan
So they played stuff and then Marty K came back to town and he had what he called a Good Smellin Bad Guitar and he joined in
And the fledgling band was christened The Snot Dogs and Marty who couldn’t always be there took to saying “We are The Snot Dogs/The Snot Dogs are we/Sometimes there’s two/And sometimes there’s three”
And fellow GHS alumni Charlie and George got the word from Marty and there started to be get-togethers mostly in Jeff’s living room
And Marty went off to law school and before long fellow law school students Karen, who played fiddle, and Vicki, who played flute, started coming to the sessions
And one fateful night at Jeff’s the heavily pregnant audience member Joni, who was Gary’s wife at the time, let Gary know between songs that she had felt something that may have been a contraction
So Joni and Gary left to give birth to their daughter while the band played on
“lost his marbles” is idiomatic for his loss of either sense or intelligence.
here are two true stories about childhood loss of real marbles and one developing story about my shrinking brain.
the first story is about my brother harold and his marbles in a popcorn box and the racecourse known as turf paradise and its corrugated patio-style roof.
briefly, harold took his box of marbles to our family outing day at the races and somehow the box got kicked over and the marbles rattled down
the corrugated roof onto the heads of some of the spectators below. whoops!
the second story is of my business enterprise in middle school wherein i filled a plastic toy gumball machine with lots of cheap marbles and five good ones.
it was like a slot machine. a kid with a penny could try his luck hoping to get a bumblebee but most of the time getting a cateye or clearie. one fine day i made nineteen cents
which in 1964 could buy you three candy bars and three bazooka joe bubble gums and at five percent there was but one cent tax. a fortune!
and i found a loophole in the school rule forbidding the stashing of marbles in your desk by keeping them ON my desk
in the gumball machine, brazenly showcasing my wares. sweet, shy miss morse did not say a thing. i suspect she knew that my business would soon go bust,
and it did, spectacularly, due to the desktop being slanted, and young gary being careless and clumsy: my elbow toppled the gumball machine, and it fell to the floor and the cheap
plastic shattered, and the marbles fled like the scarabs in that movie about a mummy and miss morse had the marbles brought
to her desk, where they remained until the end of the school year when she most graciously gave them back to me just in time for summer.
we now come to my brain which has been revealed to be shrinking (comparison of my 2019 mri to last month’s) beyond the norm for an elderly patient.
i have lost neurons. the condition is known as “brain atrophy.” i have what the doc calls a “neuropsychological test” coming up soon. i hope i do better than i did
on the cognitive test they’ve already given me. meanwhile, my way of not going gentle is by journaling and poetry. this is both.
“We are in the fight.” My friend Irma Pacheco took this selfie of the two of us on Thanksgiving Day, which was Day 3 of our Unite Here Local 11 union’s strike to get a fair contract with SSP America. Irma has put her heart and soul into improving the lot of our community. I am proud to be her friend.
The strike will officially end–for now–at midnight tonight. We have won two sessions at the bargaining table, starting next week. So I will put this clean Strike Laundry away. I will be happy to return to work tomorrow morning, and I will be overjoyed when a fair contract is achieved.
But I and my fellow Union members know that the fight is not over. Should negotiations fail, we will put our shirts back on, load and unload vans full of protest signs and bullhorns and banners and tables and five-gallon drums and drumsticks, and go right back out there again, for justice, fairness, and our families.
Today is my two-month anniversary as a prep cook at the SSP Commissary. (SSP America is Select Service Professionals, “The Food Travel Experts,” one of two restaurant-management firms that run most of the restaurants, bars and food kiosks of Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. Our Commissary prepares foodstuffs for well over a dozen major restaurants at the airport.) The short version of my workday is that after walking to work, I diced and portioned eleven sheet trays of cooked chicken, and also procured for Chef Adam one gallon of mushroom gravy, prior to cleaning up my work area and heading for home. I worked almost exactly seven and a half hours today, for which I expect to net about a hundred dollars, after deductions for union dues, Social Security, Medicare, health insurance, and federal and state income taxes are taken.
Now for some detail to help me remember in my old(er) age. My alarm went off at 2:10am. I took some medication, flossed and brushed my teeth, shaved, made my bed and laid out my work clothing, showered, dressed, fiddled around on my phone a few minutes, put my cut glove in my left rear pocket, an inkpen in my right rear pocket, my SSP cap on my head, my wallet and keys in my left front pocket, my phone in my right front pocket, and opened my front door at precisely 3am. The walk to work was 5.15 miles today, taking 11,478 steps, which is about half the steps I’ve walked today so far:
In the break room at work I drank water and a Diet Pepsi and fiddled around on my phone prior to using the bathroom and clocking in at 4:59am. I washed my hands, put on some vinyl gloves, got an apron and two squares of cloth from the community pile, put on an apron, got a little red bucket of sani solution from the dish pit, and reported to Chef Adam, asking him what he’d like me to do today. He took me to walk-in cooler C-2 and showed me a rack filled with sheet trays (“cookie sheets” in layman’s terms) of cooked chicken. “Dice. Just two sheets at a time. Keep everything on ice.”
My Mize En Place (workspace preparation; it’s a French phrase common in restaurant kitchens, and means approximately “putting things in place”) included preparing ice beds for sheet trays and diced chicken, procuring a white cutting board and a sharp chef’s knife, putting my cut glove over my guiding hand (my right hand; I’m left-handed), and putting another vinyl glove over the cut glove. I got a loaded sheet tray from C-2 and placed it on its ice bed, then got a second tray, hand-picked the chicken from it and placed all of it atop the chicken on the first tray, and took the second tray to the dish pit for washing.
Then I diced. Some weeks ago, my first attempt at dicing chicken was regarded by my boss Chef Don with baffled disbelief and a blurted “What the ####??” It was a mess, owing partly to my clumsy nervousness and partly to the use of an extremely dull knife. Now, many hours of practice later, my chicken dicing is fast and good. I’ll usually use a sort of rolling pressdown for a lengthwise cut, cleaving the meat cleanly and following it in a split-second with the next cut. After the lengthwise cuts are made, I’ll either leave the meat in place and make widthwise cuts with the knife 90° to the lengthwise, or with bigger pieces, take four rows or so at a time and rotate them at right-angle relative. There are other things I do, depending on size and skin toughness, but let’s keep it brief.
When I’ve got the piece completely diced, I usually gather it into the knife flat with my right hand and give it a two-handed flip/toss into the iced mixing bowl. I don’t always get all the dice in one gather, though. My hands (and feet) are as squat as my body is. C’est la vie.
So it went, two trays at a time, filling a mixing bowl with dice, then covering it with plastic wrap, putting a label on the wrap, and conveying the filled bowl back to C-2. (In the interest of getting the bowl back in the cooler as quickly as possible, to await later portioning into five-pound bags, I used a template that correctly identified the chicken but incorrectly identified the restaurant for which it was intended; that restaurant had plenty of room on its bottom shelf for this temporary storage, and everything going into the cooler is supposed to be labeled. I knew I would do the portioning before the end of my shift.)
Ultimately I filled three large mixing bowls, and a super-large mixing bowl, with dice. About three hours in I told Chef Adam I wanted to take my Fifteen, meaning the fifteen-minute break specified in the Union’s Collective Bargaining Agreement, and after my assurances that all the chicken was on ice, he said OK. I used the time to use the bathroom, hydrate, check my phone for e-mails and other items of interest, and flex and relax my slightly arthritic hands. After my break and before lunch, all four bowls were ensconced in the cooler, and I told Chef I was done dicing. He then asked me to check the blast cooler (a super-duper deep freeze in the approximate center of the Commissary workspace, where hot items are quickly and safely reduced in temperature) for gravy, and to bring him a gallon of it. I found several trays in there, one with its temperature being taken, and reading out below 73 degrees, so after sani-cleaning the thermometer I took out two trays that I knew would together yield at least a gallon. I got a gallon container with lid and a large metal spoon from the utensils racks, used the spoon to stir the goopy gravy in the tray, and carefully-but-quickly ladled gravy into the container until it was full. Though I was careful, some gravy ended up sliding down the outside of the container, so I sani-wiped the container after securing the lid.
Chef thanked me, and when I said I’d like to go to lunch, smiled and said, “NOW you can go have your lunch.” Lunch is prepared and provided free to us, every shift. (I forgot to mention the 6am morning meeting, where we all gather and Chef has a few words with us. This morning he mostly thanked us, because our shelves were well stocked and we were keeping things cleaned and working hard. He also told us lunch would be chicken sandwiches, tenders or patties, and French fries. There was also an ice bed full of salad fixings and sauces.)
When I got back from lunch I retrieved, one at a time, the mixing bowls from C-2; did a new Mize En Place with a digital scale, plastic bags, and blue zip-ties; and portioned the dice into the bags, which we do a bit of quasi-origami with so that they retain an open-container shape on the scale while we fill them with product. In the case of chicken dice the best conveyance from bowl to bag is with gloved hands. When the readout is close to five pounds you’ll add a few dice at a time till it gets to 5.00 or a bit over. I like it exact.
Long story just a little longer: The dice filled 13 bags, and partially filled a 14th. The bags were properly labeled and put on the appropriate shelf of the restaurant for which they were designated. (Note: chicken and other poultry must be stored below every other type of meat; everyone with a Food Handler’s certification learns that.) The total chicken dice yield was therefore just shy of 70 pounds. After I’d finished portioning and conveying, I took all washables except the knife to the dish pit, sharpened and sani’d the knife and returned it to where I had originally found it; sani’d my work counter, swept the floor around my workspace, filled a mop bucket with floor-cleaning solution, mopped my area, took mop and bucket back to the back and dumped the mop water, and leaned the wrung-out mop upside down in the utility room to dry. With my workspace having no trace of my previous presence, I felt free to go, so I removed my apron and placed it in the to-be-washed bag. I clocked out at precisely 1:00pm.
For a guy who started two months ago, the work described above is a fairly decent shift’s worth of justified existence; but I intend to get much faster, more efficient–defter. Acquisition of Deftness is one of Life’s great joys.
Friends, technical difficulties have kept me from posting anything at all this March. My “Media Library” has reached its gigabyte limit despite my efforts to free up space. But as long as I don’t try to upload an image I can still make a post. I didn’t want a full month to go by without one, so here we are.
Some good things are happening. Donald Trump has at long last been indicted, and though the Republican party is making shameful noise about “political persecution,” it seems that the only person who claims he’s innocent is Trump himself, and he is as usual lying. He wishes that something will distract the public from this indictment, and I hope he’ll get his wish–in the form of OTHER, MORE SERIOUS indictments. As Bob Woodward says, he is a threat to Democracy. Let us try him. May he find the Justice he deserves, and may it be swift and thorough.
My personal life has taken an interesting turn. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I will be reporting for an apprenticeship program for prep cooks, come the 10th of April. I bought a chef’s knife today to get some practice in. Three carrots, eight radishes, a navel orange and a white onion have already laid down their lives for the sake of my training.
School shootings are still rife in this so-called Land of the Free. Yet wrong-minded folks still post “guns don’t kill people” propaganda, largely under the influence of the disgraced NRA. Our civilization is tainted with barbarism.
Friends, I’ll be back in April. Stay safe, please, and seek happiness!
In the distance is Piestewa Peak. The foreground is typical of the nicely-tended horticulture in the Biltmore district of Phoenix, Arizona, USA. This is a “nice” part of town, and we’re northbound on the west side sidewalk of 24th Street, on a hike to bring the mountain closer.
Just south of the street that is both Glendale Avenue and Lincoln Drive is one of the outposts of Charles Schwab, an investment firm. This outfit has a clientele mostly in the upper socioeconomic strata of the world population, and it entrusts Schwab with the management of its wealth. There are many parking spaces on the Schwab complex, but this Sunday, the New York Stock Exchange being closed, almost none of them are occupied. To the west is a water treatment plant, and to some minds both Schwab and the treatment plant traffic in effluent.
We are quite close to the mountain now. If the range is considered a “rockberg” analogous to the icebergs of the oceans, we are walking above a subterranean chunk of the Rocky Mountains. And it is time to turn back. The climb to the summit requires more energy than we have left.
If our weekly mileage continues to steadily and sensibly increase, some day we will walk from our doorstep to the mountain, climb the mountain, and walk back. It’s a wonderful part of The Great Human Adventure to make a grand plan, follow it, and achieve it.
My artwork-making space has become less and less suited to its purpose thanks to my lack of organizational sense. I give myself till a minute till midnight New Year’s Eve to make this space comfortably operational. My strategy will be to do an equivalent of an App Uninstall: get everything off this work surface, then judiciously place a minimum of necessary things on it, avoiding the chaos of Clutter. There’s a lovely word for the reversal of Entropy, which is a lovely word for Chaos: Enthalpy. Friends, here’s wishing you a grand and enthalpic New Year.