in these climatically incendiary times

and in this dutch oven we call the valley of the sun

the weather guy on kjzz referred to the temperature range for the next few days as “in the one-teens”

meaning between 113 and 119 degrees fahrenheit
.

the jackass in the white house talks of buying “or annexing” greenland

were i a conspiracy theorist i would say that his climate change denial plus his collusion with the petrochemical predators in fucking up the environment were part of his sinister plan to make greenland one of the only inhabitable places on earth

so that with “annexation” (rape with violence) he would consummate the biggest real estate deal of all time

while simultaneously extending the trail of tears into the 21st century and into the arctic circle

since approximately 89% of greenland’s population is indigenous greenlandic inuit

.

but i am not a conspiracy theorist

drop a syllable and i become a piracy theorist

and my theory, backed by circumstantial evidence of the long history of theft and fraud and pillage perpetrated throughout his career

is that donald trump is a pirate of the worst sort

of the same ilk as spiro t. agnew and Bluebeard

and he’s given this country a jolly rogering since day 1 of term 1

and should be made not to walk the plank

but to walk a mile at high noon here in phoenix

wearing speedos and flipflops

with the temperature in the one-teens