our fourth grade was homeroomed by miss morse

she held elections every so often

had us put our heads down

and raise our hands to vote

but you could hear a whisper run through the class

right before the blind show of hands

so you usually knew knew who would win

even before the vote

..

in seventh grade i ran for representative at large

in a more sophisticated, balloted election

and won and gained a toehold

on the grade school political scene

..

next year i ran for president

got fifty signatures on my petition as required

and mrs. surrett and eleanor ryan and mary shields

helped me win

eleanor and mary made posters

mrs. surrett told me to write a gimmicky speech

and since my brand was “walking encyclopedia”

i loaded my speech with big words and convoluted syntax and then asked “am i reaching you?” and my pal doug stockwell son of guy nephew of dean shouted “NO!”

so I synopsized what i said: I wasn’t handsome nor popular, but i would be the right guy for the job

and i won in a landslide over 7 other candidates

–rather, my team won

mrs. surrett stacked the cards in my favor

eleanor and mary made wonderful posters and to my shame i don’t think i even thanked them

it is fifty-eight years later but i am indeed thankful

..

at our first student council meeting the principal came in and told us he had cut a deal with a firm that made commorative pins to reward worthy students and that the money in our treasury would cover the cost with plenty to spare

and THEN he asked us to vote for or against the purchase of the pins

and after he got his vote and left i turned to mrs. surrett and said, “i wonder what would have happened if we voted no”

and she gave a knowing, faintly regretful chuckle

..

during my one-semester tenure as president i spoke to the pta and was a judge in a cheerleader contest and introduced the military band “sgt. rocklovich and the ambassadors”

and my student council replenished our coffers by installing a pop machine by the p e room and we also rented the film “the misadventures of merlin jones” starring child actor kurt russell

and several times I was the one who led the school in the pledge of allegiance over the p a system

but in my last appearance as president i declined that honor and called on the incoming second-semester president to do it

though a vicious rumor had it that had had a goon squad threatening kids with a beating if they didn’t vote for him

i don’t know if the rumor was true but the kid who told me was wide-eyedly sincere in his assertion

..

now i am seventy-one years old

i have never run for public office

i could tell you that grade school politics turned me off to the whole business altogether but the truth is much more complex

but boils down to the happy fact that I am not the right guy for the job, after all