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Shawn L. Bird is a poet, a novelist, and an educator. Here is my artist’s conception of her, but I do not do her justice, and I hope you visit her site to find that that is true.

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Recently Shawn posted an “Unfinished Canadian Joke” about a beaver crossing the road, thus:

On the side of the highway:

a body of thick fur and flat leathery tail.

Why did the beaver cross the road?

I guess we’ll never know.

I commented, thus:

Because with Beavers it’s one dam thing after another.

She replied, thus:

You should lodge a complaint.

And from then on it went like this:

Gary: I tried, but my tail fell flat.
Shawn: Keep gnawing at it, and I’m sure it’ll work out.
Gary: Is that incisor information?
Shawn: Dam right! Stick to it!
Gary: Would that I could, but I can’t afford to be chewsy. [sad face]
Shawn: Yes, you have to beavery careful…
Gary: I’ll bite–why?
Shawn: It wood be quite a tail to explain.
Gary: That’s fine, as long as it’s not pulp fiction and I can sink my teeth into it.
Shawn: O no, it’s tree-mendous.
Gary: Ah, sweet Miss Tree of Life. No wonder you’re so poplar. And why aren’t I? Elmentary, my dear Watson…
Shawn: Well now we’re branching out, aren’t we?
Gary: I beleaf so.
Shawn: I willow you for this!
Gary: Weep not, O Poet. I know payback’s a beech.

Shawn, in her e-mail kindly granting permission to make a post of this, says, “I’m still pondering my rebuttal! You may have won the pun-off! [winky face]”  But rebuttal or no, she is the winner: She inspired, she generously gave of her time and wit, and she gave as good or better than she got. She proves that the much-maligned Pun has layers of value, as a vehicle for playfulness, as a way of geometrically expanding reality, and as an engagement of mind that helps stave off mind-loss. Life handled lightly from time to time is more enjoyable, and this is one way to enjoy it. Thank you, Shawn!

He did it for the sake of “Further Adventures of Denise and Gary,” thus:

Further Adventures of Denise and Gary: Humphrey Skywalker & Co.

DENISE and GARY are having breakfast at Annie’s, DENISE with a “Vegetarian Scramble” and GARY with a “Mingus Man Breakfast,” ordered on the pretext that May would be the last day for such dietary improprieties. Suddenly GARY gets a mischievous look on his face.

GARY: What did Humphrey Bogart say after he changed to Mark Hamill?
DENISE: I don’t know, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.
GARY: Here’s Luke-ing at you, kid.

DENISE continues to eat. It is as if nothing were said.

GARY: Ah, cmon. [pouts]
DENISE: You’ll be OK in a couple of days.
GARY: Isn’t it good to have an Inner Child? [sways and mugs goofily]
DENISE: Sometimes it’s better to have an Outer Adult.

[GARY stops swaying; there is an awkward pause]

DENISE: You HAVE made me chuckle more than once, though.
GARY: Yeah?
DENISE: Yes. [smiles] Twice. [pats GARY’s hand]

(loosely based on reality)

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Here’s a meld of two sketches I made last night, doing my Night Clerk duty of staying awake and alert, routine tasks to that point finished. There’s a symbol that seems a bit derivative of the new Superman chest adornment and there’s a nine-minute flash portraiture foray that seems a bit off, Wallace-Shawn-wise. Try, try again!

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The Portraiture Practice continues. Meanwhile, my Glendale High School classmate Vicki has commissioned a $5, 5-minute portrait, which I’m guessing will be a present for her devoted husband Ric. She says “no rush” so I’ll get a lot more practice in before I do hers!

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There’s a distinct possibility that I’ll be setting up a table at the Village Gallery for $5 5-minute portraits. It was discussed at the Management Committee meeting last week, and it will probably come up at the general meeting this evening. So I’m prepping; and lucky for me, a recent TIME Magazine featured “100 Influential People.” Last night I spent an hour doing this page. I averaged fairly close to five minutes per subject. (I did better with some than with others, but I’ll keep practicing…)

So–if you are in the near vicinity of the Village of Oak Creek on the evening of Friday, June 6, and you have five bucks to spare, and you want a souvenir of a five-minute visit with yours truly…come on over to the Village Gallery! [smiles]

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Last week my friend Bob Kabchef created a feature called Maudlin Monday in the poet’s group we both are in, and I joked that I was working on a dual portrait of Maud Adams and Loretta Lynn for Maud/Lynn Monday, but it would take some time. This week my friend Genevieve Lumbert, another member of our group, reminded us: “POP CALL TO MAUDLIN MONDAY ARCADE.” (Arcade was Bob’s username in the now defunct seniors social site Eons, where we all met.) Spurred by Gen’s nudge, I did the above. Since the index card is a little beat up, it didn’t lay on the scanner flatly, and so I put a CD-R atop it, remembering that there’s a cool prismatic effect when you scan a disk.

Words:

Made their marks with smarts and toil
Anguished; languished; knew true joy
Upped their cred despite their men
Do let’s see them both again

The Shakespeare quote is apt for these two ladies, and for several of the ladies in our poet’s group Poets All Call, including its originator, Socorro Olsen, and Genevieve, and my Sweetheart, Denise.

This morning I bought some more Tracfone phone minutes, and then called my mom to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day and to fact-find and get permission to do an unadorned account of her life as a mother. She cheerfully and at some length reviewed certain of her life events with me, and granted me carte blanche to write what I would.

Here is what I wrote, but not unadorned: atop my account I made a sketch of her.

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After nine and a half hours on the job, the next five-at-least better be in Slumberland.

PS WIP equals Patrick Stewart Work In Progress. I tried doing a PS a few years ago; people thought the drawing was good, but they couldn’t tell who it was.