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Tag Archives: prose poetry

so you ask What Is Folly? and a wise guy says that it is the season after Summery and immediately preceding Wintery

and then you say Seriously? and the wise guy says that though Seriously is not a season, the weather has been known to become Seriously Hot or Seriously Cold or Seriously Humid

and then you stop asking the wise guy and you dig and you find that the word derives from the old french Folie which at core meant Madness but also had notes of Stupidity and Delight

you dig more and find that the Folies-Bergère was established in 1869 and later in 1882 during the Belle Epoque its bar was immortalized by Edouard Manet and a fun fact is that he put a bottle of Bass Pale Ale on the bar

and having dug and digging the dig you dug you realize that Ziegfeld’s Follies and Eddie Murphy’s Axel Foley are also part of the tapestry

as are we all

in this crazy stupid delightful world

Hi, I’m a Writer, and that’s a fact you can take to the bank, because you are reading some of my writing. You’re a Writer too, and you can prove it to me by leaving a comment. You can also help boost the net compassion in the world by leaving me a Like, and saying something nice about me in the comment that proves you’re a Writer.

Gullible people are more compassionate and worthy of existence than those cynical and nasty murderers out there. Gullible people know that when a word starts with a capital letter it means it is more Legitimate and Important. And even though they know deep down that the main reason a catchy title invites you to click a button is that someone wants you to buy some stuff, or at the very least become more aware of the stuff, that has nothing to do with the catchy title, the compassionate, Important Gullible Person will click it anyway, because they will learn that one irresistible Thing that the Title promised them they would learn.

Except sometimes the title cheats. For instance, Yes, there are 145 facts about gullibility. A few are described here. The rest of them, you Magnificent Reader and Writer, You, are rattling around in your own Sub-Subconcious, waiting for You to dredge them up. It will be hard but by the time You are done, O Illustrious One, YOU will be completely cured of Gullibility…

…unless the next clickbait you encounter has either a kitty-cat or a young female Human Being with a huge pair of hemispherical Glands.

Buy my stuff, wouldja please?

  1. Don’t just baffle them with bullshit. BOMBARD them with bullshit. BURY them in bullshit.
  2. If they catch you cheating, call THEM cheats. If they catch you lying, call THEM liars. You can do this with absolute sincerity, even if they haven’t cheated or lied since childhood.
  3. Find dirt on them. Ask their enemies. Go to the ends of the earth. Go back to last century if you need to. If you don’t find anything heart-stopping enough, make something up.
  4. When talking about how horrible your opponent is, ask an outrageous question and then weasel out of slander with your answer. Example: “Wasn’t she the one behind the human-trafficking and pedophilia activity operated out of a pizzeria? –I dunno, you tell me.”
  5. Predict awful, catastrophic stuff that is sure to happen should your opponent get elected. Stock-market crashes and world wars are good places to start, but don’t stop there.
  6. Every time your incumbent has something bad happen during their term in office, tell the world that it never would have happened if you had been in office.
  7. Whenever good stuff happens during your incumbent opponent’s term in office, ignore it, or, better yet, belittle it, or, best of all, take credit for it
  8. Make up a disparaging, alliterative name for your opponent. Use it as often as you can, dragging it in by the heels if need be.
  9. When making a speech, interrupt yourself constantly, avoiding short sentences, or preferably any complete sentence at all. Gibberish, delivered with a theatrically singsong voice and odd repetitive gestures, can be hypnotic
  10. Behind the scenes, make shady deals with hostile foreign powers and business folk seeking either legality for criminality or Cabinet posts. Sell that legality, sell those posts, sell pardons, and sell yourself as if there were no tomorrow.
  11. Avoid the Milk of Human Kindness at all costs.

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NOTE: NaPoWriMo is shorthand for National Poetry Writing Month, which was founded on April Fool’s Day, 1996. To participate, the goal (“mission”) is a minimum of one poem a day, every day through the month. But there are no requirements. The Facebook page says “NaPoWrimo is a contest you hold with yourself, so grab inspiration from wherever or whatever you want. Write about anything you want.” I see my own participation as an opportunity to become a more well-versed (haha) poet by setting additional challenges; and the challenge I want to meet today is to write a “prose poem.” (There is controversy about what constitutes a prose poem; for instance, what would distinguish it from flash fiction? My personal definition is “writing shorter than a short-short story that contains both storytelling and fanciful turns of phrase without relying on stanzas or other form-specific line breakage.”)

The SHAME of It All, Or Not

Shame drives my car. I do not own a car. Shame is what I feel when I think of what I regard as my criminal history. I have never been arrested, indicted or tried in a court of law. I paid a ticket for Consuming Alcohol While Driving a Motorized Vehicle once. The shame was that I was caught. I had accepted a Michelob bottle from the young, attractive woman in the passenger seat on our way to skiing. Skiing is sliding down snow in near-frictionless fashion. The friction is reduced via wax. One brand of wax for surfboards is Sex Wax. Its popularity relies obliquely on Shame. I have used boogie-boards and my body to surf, but never a surfboard. Thirty-five years ago I “borrowed” some hundreds of dollars from a cash box belonging to a company I was working for. I replaced it within a day, but during that day I was stealing, and could easily have been indicted, tried and convicted.  My behavior changed, but don’t take my word for it; sometimes I tell lies. We all tell lies, but that does not excuse mine.