the late chris farley spoke into a fan:

“l-u-k-e. i-i-i a-a-m y-o-o-u-u-r f-a-a-t-h-h-e-r.”

the fan blades feather-chopped the sound

and made him sound otherworldly.

he was acting like a kid. he was Tommy Boy.

and when we were kids, Boys and Girls,

we clothes-pinned playing cards to our bikes

such that they strummed the wheel spokes

whole the wheels turned

just as a guitar pick strums strings–

or is it that the spokes strum the cards?

we also filled paper bags with exhaled air,

held tightly closed the bag end, and punched

the bag just right, for a loud and satisfying

popping sound.

cellophane and raisin boxes can be made to make

a piercing soprano whistling noise.

the finger-pulled-sideways-through-the-mouth

is still fun. squeezing air between armpit and hand

is juvenile, but so what?

special bags of dried corn and grease make a sound

in the microwave a bit like fireworks, but please,

On Your Life and for the Love of God, do not

use a Microwave

to pop a Weasel.