Some men who are either insecure or haven’t got much of a life obsess and fiddle with their looks and their grooming. But in extreme cases, their grooming obsesses right back. Such is the case with my moustache. It has declared its wish to die by my hand.

I have not shaved it off yet. Time will tell.

suicidal mustache

some facial hair portends a doom

u never learn until u groom. u

inch the scissors toward the mess

could be a trim would suit it best.

it SPEAKS. “why, you condensate flea

don’t TRIM me–SHAVE me. A B C

And DO ME IN.” that plaintive screech

leaves Mary weeping in her niche.