i ate/two hours ago/and have not cleaned up/nor gone anywhere

i fritter/i dawdle

i did put a call in to the surgery liaison lady/because i don’t yet know/when tomorrow i am supposed to show up

got her voicemail left a message

i keep telling myself Get A Move On and my self answers Nothing Doing

but there is something in the nothing that i am doing

and that is charging up/preparing

and taking a quick lookthenlookawayfast

into the abyss

.

i would spit into that abyss

but i don’t want any part of me going there

not now/nor soon