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A Friendly, Self-Compassionate Reminder

27th of December.
Tons to do!! Four days!! I know
It behooves me to remember
Finish Lines of long ago.

2021 1227 marathon finish line b n w

August 19, 1984. More than a year of training led to this moment. Two steps away from crossing the finish line at the San Francisco Marathon. There were more than ten thousand finishers. In the upper right, in the crowd, the one person whose head is not turned to see who’s coming next is my friend Thomas Christopher Sing, my classmate at Glendale Hish School, later to be the Best Man at my wedding on December 10, 1988. On March 3, 1991, Tom’s wife Mary (now, alas, deceased) and I both ran in the 1991 Los Angeles Marathon.

2021 1227 l a marathon
Every Finish Line we cross is
Yet another Starting Line.
Every win offsets the losses.
Each new challenge fills the stein.

On March 21, 1993, I was a finisher in the Tucson Marathon, with a time just under 4 hours and 30 minutes. I never was biomechanically suited for long-distance running, but I measured my achievements by the effort I put into them, and I’m proud of what I have done.

Competition has its place but
Satisfaction drives contentment.
Pay attention to your pace, but
Ditch frustration and resentment.

There are still Marathons in my life, but only in the metaphorical sense. What I learned from the three literal marathons I finished, 26 miles and 385 yards in San Francisco, Los Angeles and Tucson, is that endeavors that require the deepest commitment, and the most prolonged and profound effort, yield the most meaningful and valuable results. Whatever I accomplish between now and the end of 2021 will put me at the Starting Line of 2022.

20170802_210056

My girlfriend, Melony Terry, is a hair stylist par excellence. Many call her Mel. I started to do her portrait today, using the double acrostic “Stylin’ Mel,” which refers obliquely to comic-strip character Smilin’ Jack, about whom I knew little. I found his image online, drew him for Melony’s page, then called her to ask for a photo of her with her styling shears. Alas, she cannot accommodate me till she goes to work tomorrow, so my page on her skidded to a halt.

Meanwhile, I learned that the real-life physical model for Smilin’ Jack was Roscoe Turner, who was a colorful character indeed, being perhaps the first human being to take his pet lion (Gilmore, named after a sponsor) into the sky with him.

Today is also the birthday shared by two of my closest friends, Steve Boyle and Tom Sing. My post “Two Finest Friends” has more information on these gentlemen.

Today is my 61st birthday.

The title of this post is also the title of a picture Billy Crystal made about the 1961 major-league baseball season and Roger Maris’s 61 home runs, which broke the record set by Babe Ruth by exactly one. Maris hit it on the last day of a 162-game season, whereas Babe Ruth managed his 60 in 154 games. Similarly, here I am, still alive and well after 61 years, but with some shame and much loss.

Yesterday I got an early birthday present from my daughter, this framed 2003 photograph of me and my best friend, Bill:

bill n gary 2003

Life changes us. About six years after this picture was taken, Bill took ill with his final illness. Two years later my marriage ended. And this year I lost both a Sweetheart and the community we lived in when I moved back to Phoenix. But on the positive side, the double chin I sport in the above photograph has been greatly reduced. I also have real Joy in my life–my steady and sparkle-eyed girlfriend, Joy Riner Taylor.

And: two days ago my ex-wife offered me a glass of wine, which I gratefully accepted. And: more than five dozen people have Happy Birthdayed me on Facebook, and the day isn’t even half over. And: my former sweetheart texted me with the hope that my wishes come true.

And: five minutes ago I spoke to Tom Sing, best man at my wedding and one of my oldest friends. He and I have overlapping philosophies, and like minds, and hearing from him made my day.

This afternoon there will be a karaoke event on the occasion of my birthday, and it will no doubt provide fodder for my next blog post. Till then, Friends, may you enjoy your own Great Human Adventure.