(Recap: a boxer has a girlfriend whose magic thread, sewn into his gloves, gave him stamina and helped him win his fights. She unstitched it at his request and he won matches without magical help. She grew jealous of his female fans and restitched the gloves to wilt him, both in the ring and on his shorts. He confronted her and she again undid the stitching and committed to doing whatever he asked, provided he won his next bout.)

F.R. was outweighed by 7 pounds at the weigh-in

And was glad

He felt lean and slippery quick

And at the bell he was silent and tentative at first

They traded inconsequential jabs

F. got clipped with a glancing roundhouse to the brow

Then danced back from a left of murderous power

Then he weaved in under his foe’s punches and said You are getting one in the ribs just as he delivered a non-dominant-hand uppercut below his opponent’s guard

And just as the round was ending F. said I hope you like snowstorms

.

In round two F poured it on

He attacked like George Patton and he trash-talked like Larry Bird with a snowstorm of punches in flurries that built to a blizzard

Heedless of defending his face he did get a convincing punch in the nose that brightened the inside of his head and gave him blood to taste in the back of his mouth

But he barked a laugh and said Share and share alike and delivered an amazingly accurate payback punch to his foe’s nose

Then threw body shots that landed faster than jumprope smacking hardwood

And then the enemy was down

.

Wobbly after the eight-count F.’s opponent proved vulnerable to combinations to the swollen-eyed side of his head

And early in the fourth round F. knocked the guy out

.

How shall we celebrate? Cecilia asked him, eyes shining.

We’ll have to wait till tomorrow, F. told her. I have some unfinished business. He gave her a quick kiss and said See you in the morning and left her.

.

Where did you go? Cecilia demanded, regarding her man carrying an assortment of thin packages under his arm.

First your grandmother’s. Then Macy’s, where I bought these, and he slightly hefted the arm-bundle, then your grandmother’s again, where I spent the night.

He lifted his arm over their dining-room table. The packages, which contained bras, scattered on the lace tablecloth. You’re a 34B, right?

What the hell…?

These are Maidenform bras. Some of them have the “M” logo charm on them, some don’t. But what I did, I had your grandmother, who is even more witchy than you are, sew different variations of “Maidenform” on each one of them. If you put one of them on, it will change you, just like what you sewed on my gloves changed me.

Her eyes widened.

He picked one of them up. This one is “Maldenform.” It will, honest to God, change your nipples into replicas of Karl Malden’s nose.

She gasped.

He picked up another. And this one is “Maidenfarm.” Ever wonder what it would be like to have udders instead of breasts?

She shuddered.

Hey, you shuddered. Fun fact: You can’t spell “shuddered” without Udder.

She rolled her eyes and then looked aghast.

But I will only ask you to wear this one. And last week you told me you would do whatever I asked. He handed her the bra.

She looked at her grandmother’s stitching and it said, in elegant cursive, “MaidenfOMFG.”

WHAT WILL HAPPEN?? she wailed.

He grinned. Trust me. Like you said you would.

She looked at him balefully, then stood up and slowly unbuttoned her blouse, then wrestled herself out of her sports bra. She looked down at her perfectly normal, slightly slouchy breasts, then slipped her arms though the straps of her new bra. Before she fastened the clasp in the front she looked him in the eye, trying to get a clue from his expression, which was inscrutable.

Immediately after she fastened the bra, a humming noise came from the cups. She felt her breasts grow warm, then almost hot. The voice of Hank Williams came from the clasp, singing

Hey,

Good Lookin‘

What

Ya got cookin’?

How about cookin’ something up with

Me?

Abruptly the singing stopped. The humming stopped. The heat from the cups subsided.

Her hands flew to the clasp and she pulled the bra open, then looked down with astonishment.

Her breasts were unchanged.

She looked a question at him.

He grinned. Guess they were OMFG all along.

And he explained that he hadn’t wanted revenge

He had just wanted her to go through something like he had gone through

And he did like her breasts just fine but she was no more her breasts than he was his fists

And he loved her, jealousy and all, and wanted to be with her forever, if she could stand it that he enjoyed the admiration of other females at a distance

And she inhaled and held her breath for three seconds and said Okay and I love you too and

She suddenly laughed and said You wear Jockey shorts, right?

Yeah…?

Any problem with me sewing Hung like a Jockey’s Horse on them?

He laughed and said Go ahead. I doubt if you will notice the difference.

She rolled her eyes and said You are SO full of..

He kissed her.

The End