fortified, medicated, dying

when i was a sickly little kid I was disinfected with an antibiotic bombardment

it killed even the good bacteria aiding digestion and so i was made to eat much more yogurt than I wanted

they also tried a sulfa-drug nasal eyedropper and different antihistamines and vitamin and iron supplements

i was vaporubbed and gammaglobulined and forbidden nighttime outdoor activity because, the allergist said, many plants germinate at night

and they put a dust precipitator in my room

and they put me in “adaptive p. e.” at school

and i was unhappy at all that freakifying treatment

i feel a whisper of humiliation to this day

but now it’s quite normal especially at my age to be encumbered with a daily schedule of several medications

so i fit right in with my atenolol and rosuvastatin and tamsulosin and metformin

..

but now i dislike fitting in

and though dying scares the crap out of me and i hate the very notion and I hope not to face the reaper for many years

there seems to be a creeping invasive notion

that there will be an upside to the end