premature immature epitaph

here lies a man in an inn’s queen-size bed

he isn’t quite naked and isn’t quite dead

he’s beat to the bone from a ten-hour drive

he’s thankful and lucky to still be alive

..

accidents happen in autos and pants

sometimes one leads to another by chance

but first was a near-miss and now is a quandary

where in the heck in this burg is the laundary??

(freely adapted from actual events)