[The MYSTERIOUS WOMAN swings her arm downward, and the sign she is holding changes as she says “SLOW & Yield & STOP.” SAje then gyrates with increasing frenzy as she says “DANCE until you Drop.”]
Last night I made my Toledo, Ohio open-mic debut at the First Base Lounge downtown.
I had brought my whiteboard and a dry-erase marker, and when I signed up I was the fourth name on the list, so as the first performer was singing and guitaring I calligraphed the acrostic poem I intended to do, and then I drew the guy in the upper left-hand corner. I hadn’t noticed his name so I labeled him “1st guy.”
Next was Alex, another guitar musician, and he had a nice set of family-themed original songs, of his wife and daughter. One song likened his home life to a ship and his wife as the captain.
Then came Taylor and her ukulele, starting her set with a cover of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.” Her other songs were melodic and sophisticated, I could tell, but the tricky acoustics and her delicate voice and my quasi-deafness only allowed me to understand random phrases here and there.
I thought I would be called next, but guitar musician Steve came up instead. He must’ve signed in the gap above my name. One of his songs was a cover of that catchy tune about a time well before Steve was born–the summer of ’69.
“Gary Bowers will be with us in just a couple of minutes,” said the announcer. I went up to him and told him I was a poet, not a musician. He said the open mic was for musicians, poets, comedians, and any other performers, and that I could use the mic Steve had used to sing, and detach it from the mic stand if I wanted. Isaid it was fine as is and asked for and got ausic stand for my whiteboard.
“Next up…is Gary.”
I told the dozen-or-so that I was open-miking for the first time in Toledo, having moved here in early July, and that yesterday was my seventy-second birthday [applause] and my first poem would be what I wrote for the occasion, an acrostic poem called “7ty Two” of only ten words, and I held up my whiteboard to show them as I read the poem, which even with pauses and the after-applause took less than thirty seconds.
I then realized that I had more performance time on my hands than anticipated, and I had better do more than “ope,” so I dragged from memory Percy Bysshe Shelley’s “Ozymandias,” an 1820 poem I’ve known by heart for more than 40 years. It occurred to me as I intoned “My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings!” that it might be a better, more eye-opening performance if I imitated Donald Trump’s voice as I quoted the words on the pedestal. Next time I might, but it will need work.
I finished my set with “ope,” ostensibly about the young Ronny Howard’s role on The Andy Griffith Show but ending up being a bouquet of riffs on Ope the Syllable.
Before I got offstage I told the audience that I had drawn the performers who’d preceded me, and anyone who cared to could take a photo of my whiteboard before I left. And I did leave not long after, because the paid parking time I’d bought with my coins had lapsed.
As I drove home in the light rain I felt not exactly exhilaration but a pleasant well-it-coulda-been-worse satisfaction.
Yesterday, August 30, 2026, was my 72nd birthday. I was graduated from Glendale High School in 1972, so I am Class of ’72. 72 is two times two times two times three times three: the product of a cube and a square. So in an esoteric way, I feel as though I have just come of age.
Note: Today I celebrate my 72nd spiraling orbit around that yellow-dwarf life giver we call the Sun. I share a house with the love of my life and this instant I share my day with you and you and you. I am glad to be here and hope you are too.
My sweetheart Donna Sue Atkins and I left Phoenix, Arizona on the 4th of July. We are now living together in her house in Toledo, Ohio, and I now have an Ohio driver’s license and my car has an Ohio license plate. But it took till this week for me to buy some clay, and just yesterday I made my first clay vessel in the garage of my new residence. It is the classic, basic Pinch Pot, made using a technique at least ten thousand years old. An Ohioan potter is born!
A bit shy of 17 years ago I did this portrait of Bill Campana;
Here are the words of the triple-acrostic poem:
BILL CAMP ANA
BLUFF, & stand-up comical, & full of manic Manna
It’s a wonder he’s still local — catch him if you can
Laudably SELF-AMPLIFIED: you WILL hear from this man
Las Vegas at the Palace or perhaps the Tropicana
..
I was 54 then. I am now 71, soon to become 72. Today I did this:
Here are the words of the double-acrostic poem:
FUNNIEST MANALIVE
Fastest wit of us & them
Undeterred by raw dilemma
Nifty beard & acid pen
Needs no compass nor antenna
If/Then/Else on even keel
Edgy as a blade of steel — I
Savor his raw P.O.V
Then scorn the morn’s abyss I see
..
Between the two portraits, Mr. Cpana has published about half a dozen books and performed his hilarious poetry about half a thousand times. Long may he astound!