While not yet afflicted with dementia
I do have my episodes
I have left home for work with mismatched shoes
One black semigloss anti slip work shoe
The other New Balance white pseudo leather trainers
And today I’ve left for work beltless for the 2nd day in a row
That’s Out of Uniform for a restaurant host and could get me written up
Though yesterday the manager regarded it as no big deal
At my work as a host at an airport restaurant I sometimes
(As when wiping down a table and knocking down a salt shaker with a BONK!)
Get embarrassed
And that may trigger full-body Tourette’s syndrome
And that, my friends, ain’t pretty
I may say “Thank you, sir” to a departing guest in the same manner Kevin Bacon said “Thank you, sir, may I have another?” in the classic college comedy ANIMAL HOUSE
And then I may mutter “Makin’ Bacon” under my breath
And realizing I’m muttering out loud I may get more embarrassed
And may inexplicably clap my hands to the sides of my buttocks
While my head jerks around like a velociraptor’s
Throw in a little eye-twitch and you’ve got Son of Quasimodo manning the restaurant podium at America’s Friendliest Airport
My niece Lisa, learning I’d become a restaurant host, and knowing I am an introvert, said, “Wow, I’ll bet that takes you out of your comfort zone . . .”
Indeed it does
I go out of my comfort zone and into a psychodrama
Title: “The Noodle”
Written by Franz Kafka
Directed by Mel Brooks
One with Clay, Image and Text 